Random Fanfiction Experiments
by Link and Luigi
Summary: Bored over Christmas vacation, Beast and Professor Xavier decide to write an X-Men Evolution fanfiction. Unfortunately, they can't exactly stick to one genre. *COMPLETED!!!*
1. The Fanfiction

The Adventures of…Stuff

One day, Beast and Professor Xavier were sitting in the main little room that had Evan's poster of the Festering Boils on the ceiling.  It was over Christmas vacation so they were the only ones there since Rogue went home with Kurt and Scott went to visit Alex.  They toasted their tea and drank contently.

Beast sighed and placed his cup on the table.  "Charles," he said.  "I can only sit here chatting for so long."

"What do you wish to do instead?" asked Professor Xavier.

"I am feeling rather creative." Beast answered.  "I would like to compose a nice novel."

"A novel?" Professor Xavier said, raising an eyebrow.  "How about something a little shorter just in case you get bored and don't mind walking away from it?"

"A poem?" suggested Beast.

"No, that would be a little TOO short." The professor replied.

"How about a fanfiction?" asked Beast.

"What show?" the Professor Xavier.

"OUR show of course!" Beast answered.

"Yes…what a clever idea…" said Professor Xavier, rubbing his chin.  "All right.  Let's go."

Then they went into the other room where there was a little computer on a table sitting there beckoning them to use it.  After opening a word document and staring at the screen for a few moments, Professor Xavier turned to Beast.

"Who should be in it?" he asked.  "What should it be about?  What should the genre be?"

"I've always been a fan of cheesy romance novels!" said Beast, getting giddy.

"Romance it is then!" said Professor Xavier.  "But…between who?"

"Hm…we should make it controversial…" Beast said.  "So we can have some sort of…controversy.  Have you seen any sparks flying between any two?"

"Oh!" said Professor Xavier.  "I have an original character that would just be PERFECT for Kurt!  Her name is Kastarry LeBeau!  She's Remy's twin sister separated at birth and she's green and…"

"No." said Beast.  "No original characters."

"Oh very well." Said Professor Xavier sadly.

"How about…" started Beast.

"I know!" interrupted Professor Xavier.  "One of the X-Men and one of the Brotherhood.  That way, _I _can be in the story forbidding the romance!"

Beast paused.  "Well…all right." He said.  "But which two?"

"Not Kitty and Lance because that makes sense…" Professor Xavier said.  "How about Pietro and Jean?"

"Yes!" said Beast.  "That way Scott can get jealous!  And then Wanda can disapprove of their love!  And Rogue can be in love with Pietro but he doesn't love her and…"

"SH!!" said Professor Xavier.  "Don't give away all the points of the story!"  Professor Xavier then glared at the readers.  "Okay.  So we start with a romance between Jean and Pietro."

"Yes." Said Beast, cracking his knuckles.


	2. Romance

Romance

**If you don't have to spend hours cleaning up your barf at the end of this chapter, then you must have a very strong stomach.  It's just that we've never really written anything other than humor so we got a little out of hand.  You have been warned.**

"That was really fun Scott." Said Jean as she and Scott got out of his car.  But as they walked into the institute, Jean couldn't help but think that her frequent dates with Scott were incomplete.  She felt as though she was just going through the motions when they went out to the movies or to concerts.

"You want to hang out for a little while?" Scott asked.

Jean looked at her watch to see it was eight o'clock.  "Actually, Scott…" she said nervously.  "I'm feeling kind of tired.  Do you mind if I just call it a night?"

"Oh." Said Scott.  "Sure, Jean."

Jean slowly meandered back to her room and lied down on her bed.  Something was missing but she didn't know what.

Pietro couldn't live on watching television and eating poorly prepared sandwiches for the rest of his life!  Something felt out of the ordinary on Friday nights when he would sit at home with the other members of the Brotherhood.

What was it that made him feel so awkward all of a sudden?  Usually, he was just fine with this lifestyle but suddenly he couldn't stomach the feeling that he would be alone for the rest of his life.  This didn't make him feel like himself, and that was always a bad thing because if Pietro wasn't Pietro, then who would be awesome and fast?

"Are we doing anything today?" asked Pietro.

"No." chimed the Brotherhood.

Pietro sighed.

"Pietro, are you feeling all right?" asked Fred.  "You seem down in the dumps."

"Wait, Charles, are you sure that that is what Fred's personality is like?" Beast questioned.

"Yes." Lied Professor Xavier.  "I know all their personalities.  All the mutants are like my children and I know my children."

"Well, all right." Said Beast.  "I trust you since you're Professor Xavier."

"I am." Said Pietro.  "My life feels so empty.  I feel as though I've sped too far ahead in my life and now I have to wait for everyone else to catch up."

"That happens all the time though." Said Todd.

"Yes…" Pietro agreed.  "But still…"

"I think you need a lady friend, Pietro man." Said Lance.

"You think so?" said Pietro.  "I feel that way too.  I feel so empty and I feel as though…if I had a woman to fill that empty gap in my heart then maybe…maybe I might just be able to find myself and continue."

"There's a dance tonight." Said Lance.  "Maybe you can find someone there."

"I almost forgot about the dance!" said Pietro.  "Thanks Lance!  Maybe I should go and get ready now!"  Then he ran upstairs and ran back downstairs all ready to go.  "All right!  Let's go!"

The four best friends journeyed to the dance.  It wasn't too far of a hike, but with Pietro dragging his feet, the trek seemed to drag on forever.

"Aw man, look who's here!" came a voice as the Brotherhood finally entered the dance.  "I bet they're gonna start a fight!"

They looked up to see the X-Men standing over them.

Pietro was about to come up with a clever, witty comment to shoot back at them but something held him back.  He was distracted by a casual flip of hair by a certain redhead.  One whom he was supposed to hate, but couldn't help but love

"NO CHARLES!!!" Beast yelled.

"What?!" Professor Xavier said, nearly jumping out of his wheelchair.

"Don't make it so obvious so early!" Beast answered.  "You can't say 'love' within the first page!"

"Oh come now, Hank, we've written almost a page and a half." Professor Xavier said.

"Yes but you had to make that fancy large title to that took up quite a lot on the page." Beast pointed out.

"Oh very well." Said Professor Xavier.  "We can have a dance contest…or maybe a snowball!  And THEN a dance contest!  With the partner who you were dancing the snowball with!  And of course, Pietro and Jean will…"

"Stop, Charles!" yelled Beast.  "Why would the reader have to read our fanfiction if you're just going to say the whole story right now?"

"You're right." Said Professor Xavier.  "Let's go.  I'll do that last line over again…"

Pietro was about to come up with a clever, witty comment to shoot back at them but something held him back.  He was distracted by a casual flip of hair by a certain redhead.  One whom he was supposed to hate, but couldn't find himself to do so.

"We're just trying to enjoy the dance, Summers!" said Lance.  "Isn't that right, Pietro?"

Pietro paused nervously.

"PIETRO?" Lance said more forcefully.

"Um!" said Pietro.  "Right!  Uh…yeah!"

Jean watched the boys bicker amongst themselves and couldn't help but laugh a little.  Something about the way Pietro appeared to be so coy kind of gave her the impression that maybe he was just putting on a tough guy image and was actually a very sensitive boy.

"Jean, what do you think?" asked Scott.

"Uh, what?" Jean said, looking at Scott.

"You want to dance?" Scott asked.

"Oh…um…sure Scott." Said Jean, taking one last look at Pietro and then taking Scott's hand.  Pietro watched them leave and sighed longingly.

Jean danced with Scott, but she could feel her feet sluggishly moving to the quick tempo.  Scott appeared happy, but she couldn't help continuously glancing back to Pietro who was coolly leaning up against a wall with his arms crossed.  He was alone, since the other members of the Brotherhood had soon left his side due to his melancholy mood, and Jean grinned a bit and thought about how Pietro would dance to a fast song.

"Do you want something to drink, Jean?" Scott asked over the booming music.

"To drink?" Jean asked, glancing at where the drinks were.  Exactly the opposite side of the room as Pietro…and it would take Scott a long time to push through the crowds and find her again.  "Yes, Scott…that would be nice."

"Okay!" said Scott as he hurried off.

Jean didn't know exactly what compelled her to, but she slowly walked towards Pietro.  Pietro noticed her and looked away meekly but glanced up at her as she finally made it over to him.  The silence was awkward and the air was thick between them.  The music slowly changed from its fast beat with the loud bass to a slow, sweet song.

_This song reminds me a little of Jean…_Pietro thought to himself.  _Should I ask her to dance?  She's standing right here…_

Pietro looked Jean in the eyes.  She was a little taller than he was, but he was still growing.  But she was waiting for him and he knew that she would not ask him so it was now or never.

"Um…Jean?" he said slowly.

"Yes." Said Jean immediately and then she blushed.

"Really?" Pietro said, his eyes lighting up.  Jean nodded.  "All right!"  He took her hand and led her onto the dance floor.  She wrapped her arms around him and he around her and then they began dancing.  They swayed slowly and Pietro knew that if he could make this moment last forever, then he would give up his mutant power.  For once, he didn't mind things going slowly.

"I have to say…" said Jean.  "I came to this dance with Scott…"

"Oh…?" said Pietro quietly.

Jean nodded.  "But…" she began as Pietro's heart leapt up into his throat.  "I don't see why I can't dance with you too."

Jean slowly moved her hands down Pietro's shoulders and on his arms that rippled with muscles that were hidden under his sweater.  Slowly, she put her hands on his chest, and moved downward

"Uh…hold it Charles." Said Beast nervously.  "You're getting a bit graphic.  This is Jean we're talking about.  And Pietro."

"…So?" said Professor Xavier.

"Also, I just have to say, I don't think that Pietro has muscles." Said Beast.  "Especially not rippling ones."

"Well, in my opinion, he DOES." Said Professor Xavier.

"All right…" said Beast.  "But just be careful with what you describe.  Try to keep it…PG-13."

"Very well…" sighed Professor Xavier.

"Jean," said Pietro, grabbing Jean's wrists.  "You're here with Scott."

"Not anymore, Pietro." Said Jean.  "Right now, I'm here with you.  And I like living in the moment."

Pietro had waited years to hear those words, but he couldn't help but think about what would happen if Scott came back to this.  Scott would probably accuse him of seducing Jean.  "What if Scott comes back?" Pietro asked.  "What if he sees us?"

"We have to leave." Said Jean.  "Because of Scott comes back, I won't see much more of you, now will I?"

"All right." Said Pietro, grabbing Jean's hand and quickly, VERY quickly, pulling her out of the dance.  They stood outside of the building and looked up at the stars.

"I know where we can go." Said Jean as she lifted herself and Pietro from the ground with her mind powers and the two drifted into the sky.

"I'm flying!" Pietro exclaimed.

"Where are they going?" asked Beast.  "What's your trail of thought?"

"I was thinking they could go back to the Brotherhood house."  Professor Xavier replied.

"How about they go to a field and then…get it on?" Beast suggested.

"I know." Said Professor Xavier.  "They could fly up to a cloud and point out constellations and THEN get it on?"

"A cloud…" sighed Beast.  "That's so romantic…"

"Where are we going, Jean?" Pietro questioned.

"It's a special place." Said Jean.  "I used to go with Scott all the time but we never did much except look around anxiously."  Jean took Pietro higher and higher into the sky until she finally stopped and rested the two of them gently on a cloud.  They lied back and looked up at the star constellations.

"And that's Ursa Major!" said Jean, pointing at a constellation.

"Wow, Jean, you're really smart." Said Pietro.

"I study really hard." Jean answered.  Pietro felt a bit awkward at the announcement of school, so he tried to change the subject.

"I never knew lying on clouds was possible." Said Pietro.

"It is." Jean answered, turning over and facing him.  "If you have the right heart."

"Jean, that is so beautiful." Said Pietro, facing her as well.  "I expect so much to come from one as beautiful as you."

"Pietro…" Jean whispered.

"Yes?" Pietro asked.

"I love you." Jean answered.

"You really…" started Pietro but he couldn't finish what he was saying because Jean had pulled him for a kiss.  It was a long, wet kiss and Pietro could feel Jean's confident tongue

"Charles, this is beautiful writing." Said Beast.  "I am tearing at the eyes.  Tears are coming down like waterfalls.  Look at them Charles.  Look!  But still, you must remember to keep it PG-13."

"This IS PG-13, Hank." Said Professor Xavier.  "What I'm about to write is rated R."

"What were you about to write?" asked Beast.

"The sex scene." Said Professor Xavier.  "How does this sound?  Pietro unhooked Jean's bra…"

"No, Charles." Said Beast.

"No good?" Professor Xavier asked.  "Well, how about this.  With his quick hands, Pietro easily removed…"

"It's not the wording." Said Beast.  "It's just that's a little to graphic."

"Oh fine…" said Professor Xavier.  "But how are we going to describe their sex scene?"

"We won't."

"Then how will this be a romance story?"

"Maybe it won't be."

"Then what will it be?"

Beast thought for a moment.  "Well, the one genre that's almost as good as romance is tragedy.  Everyone loves reading about other people's pains.  Maybe Jean can become pregnant…"

"Jean…pregnant?" Professor Xavier said, rubbing his chin.

"I know it would never happen in real life…"

"No, no, I'm not disapproving…" said the professor.  "I think it's a marvelous idea.  So, you're saying we should switch our writing style to tragedy?"

"I think that's where our story will go from here."

"Very well…" said Professor Xavier.


	3. Tragedy

Tragedy

This is even worse than the romance one.  I think…yes, I think we tried to make this one nauseating.  Yeah…we definitely did.  Even though this would potentially be a very sad story, I can't help but laugh when I'm reading or writing it.

"Two lines…?" Jean gasped to herself.  "What am I going to do?  I'm only eighteen years old.  I'm not ready…"

Jean's life was just starting to get good.  Her relationship with Pietro was better that both her relationships with Scott and Duncan put together.  However, it did create a tense atmosphere in the Xavier Institute among her fellow X-Men.  They had come to accept Kitty's relationship with St. John, but for some reason could not find themselves to understand why Jean had left Scott for someone like Pietro.

But no one knew Pietro like she did, but now, she was about to make his reputation with her even worse.  She would eventually have to tell everyone, and she wanted to do it before she started to show.

"Here's where I come in." said Professor Xavier.  "I'll play the evil professor.  Maybe I can even hit her!"

"No, throw something at her face!" said Beast.  "Blind her in one eye!  Make it permanent!  That way, it'll be more tragic."

"Good idea." Said Professor Xavier as he vigorously started typing.

"Professor…" Jean said nervously.

"Yes, Jean?" Professor Xavier asked innocently as he turned around and smiled at her with a sparkle in his teeth.

"I have something very important to tell you." Jean said.

"Of course, my child." Said the professor wisely.  "You know you can tell me anything you wish.  Have a seat."

"Yes…" said Jean as she sat down.  "Well, I know how you feel about Pietro and I…"

The Professor closed his eyes and nodded.

"And what I'm about to say to you will shock you…"

"Silence, Jean!" said the professor.  "I just read your mind!  I know all about your little frenzies that you have nearly every day!  It's no surprise that you would get pregnant sooner or later!  And frankly, I'm glad it did!  Maybe it'll teach you a lesson not to allow boys to stick things where they don't belong!"

"It's not like that!" Jean said, standing up.  "I love him!  He loves me!  I can't control my heart!"

"But you can control your sex drive!" the professor roared angrily.

Jean broke down into tears.  "I thought you would understand!"

"Jean, I accepted you into my home." The professor said.  "Of all my students, I expected the most out of you.  You were extremely powerful, intelligent and beautiful.  You had enormous potential.  But you've thrown all that away.  You were like a daughter to me.  But now, as far as I'm concerned, I don't even know you anymore.  The daughter I knew would never cross over."

"Pietro is a good man!" Jean yelled.  "I love him and I'll continue seeing him!  He will take care of me and the unborn child!"

"Get out of my office, stranger!" Professor Xavier yelled.

"But Professor!" Jean cried.

"GET OUT!!!" The Professor yelled at he hurled a vase at Jean that hit her square in the eye, shattering on impact.  Jean fell to the floor, blood dripping from her face, staining the floor.

"My eye!" Jean screamed, running out of the room, clutching her face.

The Professor sighed, turned around and looked out the window.  He buried his face in his hands and broke down into tears.  "What have I done?" he muttered to himself.

"That was incredible, Charles." Said Beast.  "I have goose bumps."

"Thank you, Hank." Said Professor Xavier.

"Can I be evil too?" Beast requested.

"Hm…how about we make you her father in this story?"

"Me?  Jean's father?  Sounds good…"

Jean spent most of her time following her confrontation with the Professor in her room alone.  She could no longer see out of her injured eye which made life very hard for her.  Falling behind her studies, she thought that she might just have to drop out of school.

Night fell and suddenly, she heard something light strike her window.  She opened the window and looked down to the ground to see Pietro waving to her.

"Come down!" he called.  "Let's go!"

"Pietro, I have something to tell you." Jean said, jumping out the window and allowing herself to float to the ground.

"What happened to your eye?" Pietro asked, putting his hand to her cheek and stroking it.

"It's nothing." Jean said, unable to look at her true love.  "Pietro…I have something to tell you.  I…I'm pregnant."

"Is it…mine?" Pietro asked, grabbing her hands.

"Yes." Said Jean.  "It's…ours."

"Then I will do the thing I've been waiting to do for two months." Said Pietro, getting on one knee.  "I was waiting for the right time to ask this.  And now's a good a time as ever.  Jean…will you marry me?"

"Wait!" said Beast.  "This isn't tragic!  I'm getting happy tears, not sad tears!  They're getting married!"

"I know, Hank." Said Professor Xavier.  "We're going to build it up and then crash it down."

"You're good." Said Beast with a wink.  "You're sly."

"I will, Pietro!" said Jean, tears streaming from her face.  "Nothing would make me happier!"

Just then, Scott emerged from the shadows.  "I heard the whole thing." He said.

"Scott." Jean gasped.  "We've talked about this.  We're through.  I love Pietro."

"I know." Said Scott, cracking his knuckles.  "That's why this is going to be even more satisfying."  Without warning, Scott punched Pietro so hard it knocked him into a tree, scraping up his face and causing him to bleed, staining the silver hair that crowned his head.

"No!" said Jean dramatically, running over to Scott and grabbing his arm.

"Keep out of this, Jean!" said Scott, pushing her to the ground.  Then he turned back to Pietro who was only regaining his balance.  "This is where your journey ends, Maximoff." He said as he began to lift up his sunglasses.

"No one hits Jean while I'm still alive!" Pietro yelled, running up next to Scott at super speeds and punching him against the wall of the Xavier Institute.  Scott crashed against it and fell limp to the ground, unconscious.  Pietro grabbed Jean's hand and pulled her to her feet.

"Pietro…" Jean said, hugging him.  "Your face…"

"Love is a rocky road." Pietro answered, stroking her hair.  "We now share the wounds of our love."

"Where can we go now?" Jean asked.  "I can't go back to the institute and I can't go to the Brotherhood either."

"We'll have to go far away." Pietro answered.  "We'll start anew.  I know we will be able to do it.  With you there, I can do anything.  I'll go to the ends of the earth for you, Jean."

"Oh Pietro…" said Jean.

"Wait." Said Beast.  "Pietro isn't like that.  I swear."

"So?" said Professor Xavier.  "If you are Jean's father, then Pietro can act like this and have muscles."

"Oh all right." Said Beast.

Seven months later, Pietro had finally managed to scrounge up enough money at his minimum wage construction job working twenty hours a day at super speed in the hot sun.  They had both dropped out of school, and Pietro had bought a small trailer that he was planning on surprising Jean with after the wedding by carrying her across the threshold.

"It was a beautiful wedding." Jean said as Pietro carried her up the walkway.  "Soon we'll be a family!  The baby will be here any day now." She patted her bulging stomach.  "I'm just sorry my father didn't make it to the wedding…"

"It's all right." Said Pietro.  "My father didn't come either."

"Yes but…" Jean said, wiping her eyes.  "It's always been my dream to have him walk down the isle with me."

"We have each other, Jean." Said Pietro.  "And that's all that's important."

"Are you all right carrying me and the baby with your leg in that condition?" Jean asked.

"It's been feeling better." Pietro said, leaning over and opening the rickety door to the trailer.  

"I just didn't think you'd heal so fast after having a steal beam dropped on your leg from twenty-five stories up…" Jean said.

"Are you ready to enter our new home?" Pietro asked.

"I am!" Jean exclaimed.  But then she paused and clutched her stomach.  "I think the baby is coming!  It's time!  We're going to be a family!"

"We have to hurry to the hospital!" Pietro said, closing the door and carrying Jean.  "I'll have to carry you across the threshold later.  It's too bad we don't have a car…but I can't drive anyway…"

"The baby!" Jean said.

"I'll take you!" Pietro said, carrying Jean.  He carried Jean forty miles semi-super speed to the nearest hospital.  With the injury in his leg and carrying Jean in her pregnant state, it proved to be very difficult to him, but they finally reached the hospital and got Jean into delivery.

Pietro waited outside the room when a doctor came out looking grief stricken.  "Are you the husband?" he asked.

"Is the baby okay?" Pietro demanded, leaping to his feet.

"Only time will tell." The doctor replied sadly.  "But unfortunately, your wife has an eighty percent chance of not making it through the delivery."

"No." whispered Pietro.  "It can't be."

"You should say your last goodbyes to her." The doctor said, holding back his tears.

"While she's giving birth?" Pietro questioned.

"It may be the last time you see her." Said the doctor.  "Alive."

Pietro solemnly entered the delivery room and approached Jean who was drenched in sweat.  "Pietro, the baby's almost here!" she said weakly.

"I know, Jean." Said Pietro, grabbing her hand.  "You're going to be okay!  The baby will too.  We'll be a family."

"No, Pietro." Said Jean.  "I'm not going to make it.  I need you to be strong for the baby."

"Don't say that, Jean." Said Pietro.

"My only regret is that I'll never get to see the house you managed to buy for our family." Jean continued.

"Mrs. Maximoff, I need you to give one final push." Said the doctor.

"You're going to be okay, Jean!" Pietro said, grabbing her hand tighter.

"I won't make it Pietro." Said Jean.  "I must tell you.  The baby…I must tell you the truth about the baby…"

"Mrs. Maximoff…" said the doctor.  "That push…anytime now…"

"One moment." Said Jean, looking back at Pietro.  "The baby…it's not yours."

"Not mine?!" Pietro asked dramatically.  "Whose is it?!"

"It belongs to…" Jean started but she gave a mighty push and the baby emerged into the world.  Tears formed in Jean's eyes.  "I love you Pietro." And then her eyes closed, breathed her last breath and then drifted into an eternal sleep.

"Jean…" Pietro said.  "You're all right…you'll be okay…NO!!"

"Mr. Maximoff." Said the doctor, holding a bundle of pink blankets.  "Would you like to see your new daughter?"

Pietro took a deep breath and let go of Jean, reaching out for the baby.  The doctor handed her to him and he looked into her eyes.  He sighed and stroked her head lovingly.

"This baby…" he said.  "She is not mine.  But, I will love her like she was my own.  I have no other place to go, so I will search for her true father.  I shall name her…Kastarry."

"Oh Charles!" Beast wailed, blowing his nose.  The Professor wiped his eyes on his sleeve.  "I can't handle anymore tragedy!  It's just too…tragic!  Why did she have to die?!"

"I don't know…" the Professor said, taking a tissue and wiping his face.

"No more tragedy." Beast said.  "Pietro has suffered enough!  I'm starting to feel bad for him!  The next time I see him in real life I'm going to burst into tears!"

"All right…what kind of story should we make it then?" asked Professor Xavier.

There was a pause.

"Let's write a slash." Said Beast.

"Between who?" Professor Xavier asked in an intrigued tone.

"Pietro and Kastarry's real father!" Beast said, jumping up and down.

"But Jean JUST died!" Professor X said, sounding appalled.

"That would make it even JUICIER!" Beast said.  "That way, he can randomly feel guilty!"

"But who is Kastarry's real father…?" Professor Xavier wondered.  "Oh!  How about Remy?"

"So that her name will be Kastarry LeBeau?  Charles, is it just me or are you inserting your original character into our story?" Beast asked, putting his hands on his hips.  "I said no original characters."

"She's already born!" Professor Xavier argued.  "Besides, my original character is Remy's twin sister, not his daughter."

"So Remy has a sister and a daughter with the exact same name?" Beast said, raising his eyebrow.

"Yes." Said the professor.  "That would make it more insane when he finally finds his sister.  He would exclaim something like, 'It's fate that my daughter would be named the same as my sister!'"

"We're not bringing the sister in." Beast said.  "It's bad enough we have ONE original character named Kastarry."

"I like Kastarry." Said Professor Xavier.

"So…a slash between Remy and Pietro?" Beast said, trying to get off the subject of Kastarry.

"Sure!" said Professor Xavier.


	4. Slash

Slash

All right, this is when it gets a little weird.  We never knew we could ever write a slash…successfully.  And we still can't.  But that's okay because all that matters is that we tried our hardest, right?! 

From the moment Pietro gazed into his newborn child's eyes, he was transfixed.  He had seen those eyes on an extremely attractive man that he had met once before.  No one else had those entrancing eyes.  Where the whites should be, it was filled with darkness and where the color should have been, a deep blood red shone back at him.  He knew the name of the man with these eyes but did not know where he would find him.  Pietro knew he had to search the world for the man.  He had to search for Remy LeBeau.

Suddenly, a telepathic message came into his head.  _"Pietro,"_ came the voice of Professor Xavier.  _"I heard about the loss of…well, Mrs. Jean Maximoff.  I would just like to tell you that this has deeply scarred me as well."_

_"Has it scarred you as much as your vase scarred Jean?!" _Pietro demanded telepathically.

_"I know what I did was wrong." _The Professor said truthfully.  _"And I would like to make up for it.  I have already found the man you search for and he is here at the institute.  If you come, you shall receive all your answers."_

_"Very well." _Pietro replied.  _"But you better be telling the truth."_

It didn't take Pietro very long to run back to the institute carrying young Kastarry carefully.

"Hang on." Said Beast.  "Pietro's allowed to leave the hospital with his daughter that's only about a minute old?  Especially after it was pointed out that it wasn't actually his daughter?  Also, he's a minor.  They wouldn't let him leave.  Plus Jean just died.  And how did YOU find Remy?!"

"Hank." Said Professor Xavier.  "Let my creative mind flow."

Pietro stood hesitantly outside the institute.  He remembered what had happened last time he had come to this place, and that had been months ago.

_"Come in, Pietro." _Said the Professor.  _"Do not be frightened."_

Pietro took a deep breath and pushed the door open.  He was greeted by many people with pink balloons and streamers.  He looked around the institute to see in big letters, 'Congratulations!  It's a Girl!'

"Welcome, Pietro." Said Professor Xavier as the crowd parted.  "Please follow me into the other room where we may discuss your mission to find Kastarry's real father."  Pietro followed Professor Xavier into the other room.

"What's this all about?!" Pietro demanded.  "Why are you so accepting?  What did it take?  Jean's DEATH?!"

"Sadly, yes." Said Professor Xavier.  "I never realized that I can't rule the life of my X-Men and from now on, I am accepting on who my X-Men love, when they love and how early they conceive children."

"It's a little late for that." Said Pietro.

"Well, I have an offer to make that might make your soul rest easier." Professor Xavier said as Remy walked around the corner.  "This is Kastarry's father."

"I knew all along." Said Pietro.  "But you are no father to her!"

Remy didn't say a word, he only approached Pietro, leaned over and planted a kiss right on his lips.  Pietro was confused.  His wife just died, and he was being kissed by another man, and yet… he was enjoying it.  The moment he began to kiss back, the thought of Jean flashed into his mind and he pulled away.

"So you DID enjoy it, mon amour." Said Remy.  "Let me look at my baby."  He gazed down at the girl in Pietro's arms.  "She has my eyes."

"Yes." Said Pietro.  "She looks just like you.  It's hard to love her because all I can see is you and I hate you."

"Why?" asked Remy.

"Because you had an affair with my wife!" Pietro yelled.

"She wasn't your wife at the time." Remy pointed out.  "You only married her today.  I had an affair with her one month before you even went out with her."

"Oh." Said Pietro.  "She was ten months…?"

"Yes." Remy interrupted.

"Okay…" said Pietro.  "But…you kissed me.  And now I'm confused about my sexual preferences because I liked it."

"I know." Said Remy.  "I did too."

"I would hate to think that Kastarry would grow up with only a single father like you." Pietro said.  "And I'm too young to care for her properly.  I hate to see her grow up troubled…I have already fallen in love with her."

"It doesn't have to be that way." Said Professor Xavier, wheeling forward and grabbing Remy and Pietro's hands.  "You both may stay with me at the institute and care for the child together."

Just then, Scott and Lance walked in the door holding hands.

"You called for me, Professor?" Scott asked.

"Yes." Said Professor Xavier.  "Pietro and Remy will be staying at the institute for a while.  Will you show them to their room?"

"Room?!" Pietro demanded.  "As in a singular room?!  My _wife _just died… a half an hour ago!"

"I don't even think it was a half an hour ago." Said Professor Xavier, looking at his watch.  "More like fifteen minutes."

"But I can't love men!" said Pietro.  Then he turned around and looked Remy up and down.  "Well…maybe I can…but still!!  My _wife_!!"

"Pietro, you didn't have a wife!" said Professor Xavier.  "You're fifteen!  You don't have a daughter!  Live your life for God's sake!"

"Come on." Said Lance, reaching his free hand out for either Pietro or Remy.

"Do you guys ever stop holding hands?" asked Pietro.

"No." said Lance.  "I always hold hands with my lover, Scott."

"You see, after you punched me and you and Jean ran away, I was awfully upset." Scott explained as the four of them walked out of the room.  "Then Lance comforted me and I discovered that HE was my true love.  And we've been going out ever since."

Then they passed Rogue and Storm in the hall as the two held hands and gazed lovingly into each other's eyes.  They momentarily stopped to wave to the four and then continued.

"You see, with Professor Xavier's new declaration of free love, everyone's coming out of the closet." Said Lance as they passed by Evan and Beast who were sharing a milkshake and playing footsie under the table.

"No," said Beast immediately as he erased his name.

"What are you doing?!" demanded Professor Xavier.  "Free love!"

"But not me." Beast said.  "I don't even want to be in this story anymore.  Just make it someone else."

"Fine." Said Professor Xavier.

"You see, with Professor Xavier's new declaration of free love, everyone's coming out of the closet." Said Lance as they passed by Evan and Fred who were sharing a milkshake and playing footsie under the table.

"Has everyone here decided that they like other people of the same gender out of nowhere?" asked Pietro as he felt Remy reach down and grab the hand that wasn't carrying the slumbering Kastarry.  Pietro did not try to break free, he only squeezed harder.  Something about the older man's hand comforted him during this hard time.

"As it turns out…" started Scott.  "The mutant gene also affects one's sexual preference."

"So everyone's…" started Pietro but he stopped himself as Kitty and St. John walked by hand-in-hand.  

"Don't stare!" said Lance as he gave Pietro a smack in the shoulder.  Then he rolled his eyes and sighed.  "Whatever makes them happy, I guess."

"Oh Charles, I'm loving the creativity!" said Beast.  "I would NEVER have suspected you to be creative enough to create an alternate universe where the mutant gene affects one's desires!"

"I had actually been planning to put that in a story previous to this one." Said Professor Xavier.  "I just never used it."

"So what should happen after this?" asked Beast.

"I think that they should go to their new bedroom, talk a little and end up getting it on." suggested Professor Xavier.

"No Charles." Said Beast.  "That just isn't the sort of thing I'm going to want to read."

"Fine." Said Professor Xavier.  "They can talk, get close and at the MOST maybe they can share a kiss."

"A PG-13 kiss." Said Beast.

"Yes, Hank." Sighed Professor Xavier.  "A PG-13 kiss."

 "Here is your room." Said Lance as he motioned at the door with the hand that wasn't wrapped within Scott's.  "And there is your bed."

He pointed to a singular double bed in the middle of the room with a floral comforter spread across it.

"And where's the other bed?" asked Pietro.  "I only see one…"

Pietro was cut short because Remy had leaned forward and kissed him deeply on the lips.  Remy pulled back and smiled at Pietro.  

"You got nothing to worry 'bout, mon amour." He said with a wink.  "Remy ain't a blanket hog."

"Uh…" stuttered Pietro.  "Um…uh…where will the baby sleep?"

"We'll just leave you two alone." Said Scott as he and Lance left hand-in-hand and closed the door behind.

"Let Remy see her." Said Remy as he reached out for the baby.  Pietro hesitantly handed Kastarry to Remy.  "She really is a beautiful baby."

"Yes." Said Pietro as he averted his eyes.  "I know."

"Remy's never had a family before." Said Remy as he playfully stroked the baby's face with his finger.

"We're NOT a family." Said Pietro.  "I think we should share custody.  Kastarry could grow up with two parents but in separated houses."

"No daughter of Remy's is going to grow up in a broken home." Said Remy.

"I know but until we figure this out…" started Pietro.

"You can't say that you didn't enjoy my kiss." Said Remy.  Pietro's mouth hung open, at a loss for anything to say.

"That's besides the point." Said Pietro.

"Maybe it is…" said Remy.  "But if we raised Kastarry together in one house, she wouldn't have to feel the pain of a separated house."

"But…but…" whined Pietro.  "This just won't work, Remy!"

"It's the mutant gene in you talking, amour." Said Remy as he lied the sleeping baby on the bed.  "You can't help your feelings."

"I'm so confused right now!" said Pietro.

"It's all right." Said Remy.  "Just talk to Remy and everything…"

But it was Remy's turn to be interrupted.  Pietro had spontaneously sprung forward, wrapped his arms around Remy's neck and for the first time, he purposefully interlocked his lips with another man.

"Is this really going anywhere, Hank?" asked Professor Xavier as he opened up another box of tissues and handed it to Beast.

"Not really." Said Beast as he took two tissues and wiped his eyes that were starting to turn red because of the overwhelming mixture of happy tears and sad tears and then happy tears again.  "But I'm getting warm and fuzzy feelings all over!"

"Me too but I am just wondering where to go from here." Said Professor Xavier.

"Well…" said Beast.  "Perhaps we could jump forward a couple of years to when Kastarry is older and things are less awkward and new."

"Yes!" said Professor Xavier excitedly.  "And it can be told from HER point of view!"

"No." said Best firmly.  "I'll say it again but it's bad enough she's in it."

"Fine, fine." Said Professor Xavier as he cracked his knuckles again.


	5. Original Character

Original Character

**This chapter goes out to all the folks who have original characters.  We wrote this chapter especially for all of you.**

Kastarry LeBeau used to be an average teenage girl with everything going for her.  She was beautiful, smart, popular, athletic and had two parents that loved her deeply.  The problem was…she became a mutant.

The moment her mutant powers manifested, her life went down the tube.  She isolated herself and eventually became a world-hating Goth dressed entirely in black.  Her friends, although oblivious to her mutant powers, abandoned her and she was no longer involved in the sports that she loved so much anymore.

She sat in her at her desk at home writing 'I hate my life' all over her notebook as she nonchalantly played with her nose ring.

"Charles!" Beast yelled out of nowhere.  "Don't give her a nose ring!"

"Why not?" asked the Professor.

"I don't know!" said Beast.  "They just REALLY offend me and if I HAVE to be writing this story about YOUR original character who you're making worse by the minute, she's NOT going to have a nose ring."

"Why do I always listen to you?" said Professor Xavier as he went back up and deleted the words 'nose ring'.

She sat in her at her desk at home writing 'I hate my life' all over her notebook as she nonchalantly played with her pencil.  She was supposed to be doing her homework but that just did not matter to her anymore.

There was a sudden knock at the door.  "Kastarry?" said the voice.  "Are you in there?"

"Come in dad." Said Kastarry as she shoved her books under the desk.  The door opened and Pietro walked in looking very concerned.  He had aged since his high school years.  He was now an adult but he was young enough to be able to relate with his daughter.

"Your father and I are very worried about you, Kastarry." Said Pietro as he sat down on Kastarry's bed.  "You haven't eaten for days."

"I'm trying to lose weight." Snapped Kastarry.  "Why do you care?"

"I'm your father, Kastarry!" yelled Pietro.  "Don't take that tone with me!"

"I knew you'd fly off the handle." Said Kastarry.

"Okay…" said Pietro.  "I'll start over."

"Don't bother." Said Kastarry.  She started hovering a pencil in front of her for amusement.  Pietro walked over and snatched the pencil from the air.

"You can't just use your powers whenever you feel like it!" Pietro said.  "This is what got you in trouble last time!"

When Kastarry's first mutant power began to show, her family just thought that all she could do was teleport.  But as the days continued, they discovered that Kastarry could do a lot more than just that.  No one in Kastarry's family knew it but she was actually the Chosen One that is born every five hundred years.

"Charles, Kastarry is a Mary Sue." Said Beast with a groan.  "A very unrealistic Mary Sue."

"Well, that's what her character design says." Said Professor Xavier.  "This NEW Kastarry is the biological daughter of Jean and Remy but is being raised by Remy and Pietro.  She has god-like powers because of her Chosen One-like status and she will eventually fall in love with Kurt and discover a way to fix his appearance…"

"Charles, no." said Beast as he put his foot down.  "Besides, isn't Kurt in his mid-thirties by now?"

"Well, Kastarry will later turn back the time on all of the X-Men, Brotherhood and Acolytes so that she can mingle with them in a comfortable setting."

"How about we limit Kastarry's powers down and say that the time has been turned back some other way." Said Beast because he rather liked the idea of all the characters that he knew in real life being their regular ages.

"Maybe we can make Kastarry a DEMI-God!" said Professor Xavier with a smile.

"No!" said Beast.  "Perhaps some OTHER mythical creature?"

"Hm…" thought the professor.  "How about a Unicorn!  One that can turn into a human and still use all her powers!"

"Something less powerful…" said Beast.  "Like a vampire or something."

"Yeah!" said the professor.  "A vampire!"

"We're having a dinner tonight, Kastarry." Said Pietro.  "We are inviting only our dearest friends and I don't want you to ruin it."

"Don't worry." Said Kastarry as she smiled at one of her fathers with her fanged mouth.  She then gave him a hug and he stood up to leave the room.  Kastarry wasn't going to ruin her fathers' time, so she decided that she would just stay up in her room all day.

_"They're ashamed of me," _she thought.  _"That's why they think I would ruin their time.  Well, I'll show them!"_

She turned her light off.  The dark suited her much better than the light.  She knew exactly how she would get back at both her fathers for being so ashamed of her!

Kastarry stood up and opened her door.  Slowly, she descended the stairs and could hear the voices of the guests and she figured that she would have to meet them at some point anyway.

"Oh!" said Remy.  "Here's Kastarry-chan now."

"I remember seeing you when you were just a little baby!" said the aged Scott as he looked at Lance excitedly.  The two were holding hands as tightly as ever.

"Ohayou-gozaimasu, Sukotto-san and Ransu-san." Said Kastarry, bowing.  "My otou-sans have told me all about you."

"Charles, I don't mean to be rude or anything…but what's going on?" Beast said suddenly.

"It's Japanese." Professor Xavier answered.

"I know that." Said Beast.  "I am fluent in Japanese."

"So what's the problem?" asked the Professor Xavier.

"X-Men Evolution is not an anime." Beast explained.  "And even if it WAS… Sukotto-san?  Ransu-san?"

"It's spelled out the way she would pronounce it." Professor Xavier explained.  "How it would be written in Romanji."

"No more Japanese." Said Beast, rolling his eyes.

"You're not fun, Hank." Said Professor Xavier.

"How about I type for a little while?" Beast suggested.

"Never." Said Professor Xavier.  "I am a much faster typist than you.  I won't write any more Japanese.  I promise."

"Fine." Said Beast. 

Two by two, the guests arrived until the party consisted of Scott and Lance, Kitty and St. John and finally, Kurt and Bobby showed up.  The group went into the kitchen were they would be having dinner.

"It was really nice of you to invite us." Said Kitty.  "I know we may seem a little strange…" Kitty put her hand on St. John's.  "But we're glad you have accepted us.  Meet our child, his name is Cornelius and he has no mutant power.  He is wearing a red shirt and we hope that he will not be killed off at the first sight of action."

"We hope not as well." Said everyone.

"Let's say grace." Said Pietro.  "We'll go around the room saying what we're thankful for.  Remy, would you like to start?"

"Certainly." Said Remy.  "Remy t'ankful for his family.  Pietro, for always being there for me and bringing this family together.  And Kastarry, for being the light of my life for adding a feminine touch to this household."

"Remy pretty much took what I was going to say!" said Pietro.  The table chuckled warmly.  "But, I would also like to take this time to remember Jean, the wife I had for a few hours before I met my dearest Remy.  She is Kastarry's mother and without her, Kastarry would not be with us today."

"And, to put this in short, I'm thankful for Scott for being a wonderful lover in and out of bed." Said Lance.

"Oh YOU!" said Scott, turning as red as his sunglasses.  "I would have to agree with everything Lance said…"

"I'm thankful for good friends." Said Kitty.  "And, of course, my family, St. John and Cornelius whom I love very much and his untimely action-filled death would sadden me."

St. John paused for a moment and then sighed.  "I'm thankful for…these candles.  I have been deprived in my fireless house for so long."

The table was silent.  The people who were sitting closest to the candles took this opportunity to blow them out.

"And my family." St. John finished.

"As for me, I'm thankful for Kurt of course," Bobby started.  "Also…I'm baffled as to how I even got here.  If not for Kurt helping me through my tough time when I was struggling with drugs and alcohol and became temporarily suicidal, I probably wouldn't be here today.  And when my lower body was paralyzed in that terrible car accident that took the life of Ronnie and my parents, it was Kurt who taught me how to walk again."

"And I'm thankful for…" started Kurt.

"But I'm also thankful for Kurt because he's the one who stuck with me when I was shot in the head when I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and was taken hostage during a bank robbery and the robbers wanted to prove that they weren't afraid to kill anyone but I didn't die because Kurt was there to help me through it."

Everyone paused.

"I'm thankful for…" Kurt started again.

"Also," Bobby continued.  "Kurt was there for me when I lost my former husband, Ray, and my four adopted children in a freak plane crash while we were on our way to Disney World that killed everyone in the entire plane but left me mortally wounded.  Kurt was there for me when I was confined to a wheelchair.  Again.  He taught me to walk yet again when the doctors said I never would again.  Kurt was there for me.  And he always will be."

There was a long silence.

"You done, Bobo?" asked Kurt.

"Yes." Said Bobby.

"Then let go of my tail and let me say what I'M thankful for." Said Kurt.

"Sorry…" said Bobby.

"I'll keep it short." Said Kurt.  "I'm thankful for Bobby."

"Cornelius?" said Kitty.  "Do you want to say what YOU'RE thankful for?"

"I'm thankful for being ALIVE!" said Cornelius.  Everyone 'Aww'ed at the cute statement by crazy Cornelius.

"Kastarry?" said Pietro.  "You're last."

"I'm always last." Said Kastarry.  She thought about how everyone was so thankful for everything they had.  They all had someone to love and someone who loved them.  What did she have?  She had absolutely nothing and no one cared for her.

"Kastarry…" Remy coached.

"I'm thankful for nothing." Said Kastarry finally.  Everyone gasped dramatically.  "Except for maybe…MY MUTANT POWER!!!"

Kastarry smiled a twisted grin and leapt forward to each individual guests of the house as well as her very own fathers and bit them all on the neck.

"Charles!" said Beast.  "That is a rather frightening image!"

"Kastarry has a rather frightening mutant power." Professor Xavier answered.

"I think with that act, we've crossed over to the horror genre." Beast said, crossing his arms and nodding his head.

"Horror would be rather entertaining…" said Professor Xavier slowly.

"But I must say that I am rather tired of Kastarry…and of Cornelius." Beast admitted truthfully.

"Well, I planned on killing Cornelius off…" started Professor Xavier.

"I gathered." Beast interrupted.

"But not Kastarry!" Professor Xavier exclaimed.

"What, everyone is just supposed to laugh and say how silly Kastarry is for biting them?!" Beast demanded, slamming his hand down on the table.

"I suppose not…" the professor began.  "But I wanted her to sacrifice herself for the team and end up dying that way…and she still hasn't fallen in love with Kurt…"

"Kurt's already married." Beast pointed out.

"Yes but…"

"I know!  We could have Kastarry get weakened by all the life sucking she did and end up dying that way!"

"But wouldn't sucking the lives of many victims make her stronger?" Professor Xavier questioned.

Beast was silent for a moment.

"No." he said finally.  "No it wouldn't."

"But…"

"Okay.  I've got it." Said Beast, slamming his fist into his palm.  "She could suck the life out of them but actually sucks the past years out of them so they all turn back into their regular ages and she ends up absorbing all those years and slowly turns into a zombie and crumbles, dying because she decomposed and became so old."

"Can I at least describe THAT graphically?" Professor Xavier pleaded.  "This is the death of my original character after all."

"But that would be…HORRIFIC!" Beast said dramatically.

"Well, it IS a horror fanfiction…" Professor Xavier said.


	6. Horror

Horror

**Despite the misleading title, this story is not very scary at all.  Yes, we admit that we at least attempted to make it a teeny bit scary at first but then we realized that our sad attempts were just way too sad…so we just winged it.  As usual.  Have fun.**

Kastarry pulled up from her last victim.  Something strange was

"Hang on," Beast interrupted.  "Are the X-Men going to remember this whole ordeal with Kastarry being a vampire?  Or are they going to think that they've been teenagers all this time so they don't know that they're married to each other or anything?"

"That's good!" said Professor Xavier.  "That way, they'd all be acting normal as opposed to being old on their young bodies."

Kastarry pulled up from her last victim.  Something strange was flowing through her body.  She had never bitten anyone in the neck before and tonight she had gone and bitten nine people, sucking many years off their lives.

Though she may have sucked years off their lives, she didn't do so in the planned matter.  Instead of sucking years off the end of their lives, she sucked years that they had already lived, causing the aged versions of themselves to devolve into their younger, teenage selves.  Kastarry then felt a surge of pain and anguish as her skin slowly curled and almost seemed to age a hundred years in a matter of moments.  She screamed as her own body collapsed under her body weight and she finally crumbled into a pile of dust.

"Whoa, Charles!" Beast exclaimed.  "Whoa!  That was brilliant!"

"I know." Said Professor Xavier.  "It is rather clever if I do say so myself."  Then he paused.  "NOW DON'T INTERUPT MY CREATIVE FLOW AGAIN!!"

"Okay!" Beast whined as he curled up into a pathetic ball.

"That was weird." Said Scott.

"Kastarry!" Pietro yelled.  "Go to your room!"

"Amour, you've got fangs!" Gambit pointed out as he pointed to Pietro.  

"Not to mention the fact that you are also about fifteen years younger." Said Scott as he felt his own fangs with his finger.  "I repeat myself.  That was weird."

"I thought they were going to forget all about what's been happening for the past fifteen years or so." Beast said.

"I SAID NOT TO…" started Professor Xavier but then he paused.  "Oh right.  Sorry Hank!"  He then deleted what he had just written.

"Hey…where are we?" said Scott.  He looked down to see that he was holding hands with Lance.  Lance was also noticing that he was holding hands with Scott.  They wrenched their hands away and quickly cleansed them while avoiding eye contact.

"What's going on?!" Kitty shrieked, looking in the mirror.  "I like, have fangs!!"

"Of course." Said St. John.  "That's because we're vampires!"

"DUH!!" said everyone else.

"And speaking of which…" said Bobby with his finger up.  "I'm really hungry."

"Time to go out to eat." Said Kurt with an evil smile as a shadow covered half of his face.  The group walked to the front door and opened the door.  As the old door opened, it let out a creak, almost as if it were crying.  A bolt of lightning struck not to far from the dilapidated house.  

"No need to fly." Said Cornelius.  Everyone stared at him, DARING him to talk again for the remainder of the story.

"No need to fly." Said Bobby with a grin.  "Tonight, we eat locally."

The group followed the darkness, allowing it to choose their path.  Swooping in the shadows, they searched for the perfect morsel that they would potentially share.  Of course, if no such morsel would present itself, perhaps they would have to resort to one of their own.  After all, with their evil intentions brewing inside if them, a task such as that would not scar or burden anyone in the small group.

When there was only moments before one would scream out for movement or action, they stumbled across the unsuspecting Todd and Piotr who were out for their evening stroll with their adoptive son, Joseph.

"Can't drop the slashness, can you, Charles?" asked Beast.

"Hank, slashness is not a word." Said Charles as he ignored Beast.

"Good evening!" said Todd as he tipped his hat up.  He had been reformed by the wonderful Professor Xavier after he had learned what a great teacher could do with such a delinquent.  "Fancy seeing you out here!"

"Yes, fancy indeed." Said Kurt, bearing his fangs.

"What's going on here?!" demanded Todd.

"Nothing." Said Kurt.  "I've ALWAYS had fangs."

"Oh right!" said Todd as he chuckled warmly.  "Well, we're off then.  Come Joseph and Piotr."

"NOT SO FAST!!!" screamed the group of vampires as they jumped atop the happy family.

"Charles, please tell me that you're not going to describe poor Todd and Piotr's graphic and horrible deaths by a pack of vampires!" said Hank, closing his eyes.

"I HAVE to, Hank!" said Professor Xavier.  "Otherwise, what kind of horror story would this be?"

"I suppose." Said Beast.  "Just not TOO graphic.  And maybe you could make them turn into vampires instead of dying."

"No." said Professor Xavier.  "They have to DIE."  Then he paused.  "Or better yet…"

Kitty lunged forward on the unsuspecting amphibious boy with her long sharp fangs bore fiercely, stained with the blood from past victims.  She grabbed him by the neck and forcefully tilted his head to the side.  She opened her mouth widely and brought her teeth down.  They grew closer and closer until they broke his skin.  Todd shrieked with terror as she began to withdraw blood from his body.

"NO!!" hollered Piotr as metal coated his skin and he fought off all the vampires that had been attacking him.  His only adoptive son, Joseph, had already been devoured and he would not allow his husband to meet the same fate.

Todd began to feel faint and dizzy, slowly his struggling subsided and fell limp as Piotr charged forward knocking Kitty off his lover.

"Don't make Piotr and Todd have a dramatic goodbye." Said Hank.  "It's not tragedy anymore."

"I know, Hank." Said Professor Xavier.

"Todd…" Piotr whispered as the metal around his body slowly slipped away.  The vampires grinned maliciously at each other and closed in for the kill.  Piotr knew he would not be able to live on without his family, so he did not fight back.  He allowed the unruly group of vampires close in on him, sink their horrible fangs into his neck, and pull from him every last bit of blood and life he had left.  Before he fell victim to an eternal sleep, he looked dizzily up at the group above him as they discarded his body now that it had served its purpose.  Final drops of blood that dripped from the holes in his neck were licked clean by those whose hunger was not satisfied.

The last thing Piotr remembers is feeling Scott's warm tongue, wet with Piotr's own blood, licking clean his final trace of life.

"I'll never rid myself of that terrible taste." Kitty scoffed as she looked into the direction of Todd's body.  

"That didn't stop you from taking more than your share from him." Said St. John as he rolled his eyes.

"Well, as long as I was THERE." Sighed Kitty.

"Hey guys…that was pretty gross." Said Kurt.  "I remember swearing to myself that I would never take advantage of the fact that I have fangs and suck people's blood."

Everyone paused.

"You know…?" said Lance.  "It was kind of nasty…"

"We can't help it!" said Bobby.  "We're vampires!  We HAVE to suck people's blood!"

"I wish we weren't vampires…" said Pietro sadly.

"Hey…do you think there's any way to cure the vampire curse?" asked St. John.

"Cure?" said Scott.

"Yeah!" said St. John.  "I mean, how do we know that there isn't a way for us to be cured of being a vampire?"  Everyone considered this.

"All right!" said Cornelius.

They all glared at Cornelius as he stepped backwards nervously.

"Let's go find out." Said Kitty.  "We could…I don't know…try the library?"

"ALL RIGHT!!" cheered the whole vampire team as they jumped up and punched the air.

"You know, Charles," said Hank.  "It was terrifying before but now what's going to happen?"

"I was planning on them going to another planet to get the cure." Professor Xavier replied.  "But it can still be scary because they're vampires."

"Going to another planet?" Hank questioned.  "That's kind of Sci-Fi…"

"How about the library can be haunted but then it turns into a Sci-Fi when they find out that the cure is on some other planet in a far off galaxy?" suggested Professor Xavier.  Beast considered this for a moment.  

"Hm…" said Beast with a nod.  "Sounds like a good idea to me."

"Of course it does." Said Professor Xavier as he cracked his knuckles for something like the fifth time.  
  
________________________________________________________________________

"Here is the Library of Vampires." Said St. John as he pointed to a building that looked like it had seen better days.  It was falling apart because of age, use and wear.  "Here is where we will find the cure."

As he said that, some small child walked by innocently holding a ball.  St. John leapt forward and sucked the life out of the child before anyone could even realize what was going on.

"We need to find that cure really fast." He said as he wiped his mouth off.  "I couldn't help myself!"

"Sure, sure…" said the other vampires.

"Well, she shouldn't have been outside walking in a neighborhood of vampires in the middle of the night when she was only about five anyway!" said St. John defensively.  "She deserved it!"

"No one deserves to die!!" Kitty said dramatically.  Then she whipped around to see the little girl's parents standing there gasping.  It was her turn to leap forward and devour their life forces.

"Okay…we REALLY need to find this cure…" said Lance, as they entered the building and walked over to a bookshelf.  He began flipping through the pages of a book and Kitty came back over, wiping her mouth.

The group shuffled through the books, being somewhat unsuccessful when suddenly, all the lights flickered and eventually turned off.

"All right…who turned out the lights?" Pietro demanded.

The sound of evil laughter rung through the air.  The vampires froze.  There was someone else in the library besides them!

"Well…of course there is…" Beast started.  "It's a library…"

"Hank…please." Said Professor Xavier.  "I was going for the effect and you questioning my talent is just making me feel insecure about my writing."

"Oh, sorry." Said Beast apologetically.

"Who…who's there?" Kurt stuttered.  "And what do you want?"

Eerie music filled the library as small sources of light emitting from the corners of the room glowed dimly.

"Should we check it out?" Remy asked.

All the vampires shrugged.

"Vampires are immortal, right?" asked Bobby.

"Well, Kastarry died." Said Pietro solemnly.  Remy put his hand on Pietro's shoulder and tried to hold back his own tears.

"She shall forever remain in our hearts." Said Remy as Pietro held himself back from crying.

The music seemed to grow louder and appeared to be emanating from no specific source.  The music, a loud and droning organ piece, slowly morphed into a low laugh that caused the floor to rumble.

Suddenly all the torches that hung around the library burst into much livelier flames than they had previously been.  The flames danced around menacingly until they finally died down to a dim glow.

The nine of them stood there in silence until St. John held out his hand and absorbed the fire into a small little ball that hovered on in the tips of his fingers.  

"Hey…" sobbed the ominous voice.

St. John held the fire out as the other searched for the cure for their vampire curse.

"AHA!" said Scott, slamming the book down on the table.  "It says here that we have to go to the planet Torgo and collect the Geometric Nucleus.  After we are exposed to the Geometric Nucleus, we should be cured!"

"That's great!" cheered all the vampires.

"Should it become Sci-Fi now?" asked Professor Xavier.

"Uh…sure!" said Beast.  "They could board a spaceship!"

"Yeah, horror wasn't really my thing." 

"I noticed." Said Beast.  "I have to admit that though your writing was beautiful, your horror just wasn't scary." 

"Where are they going to get a spaceship?" asked Professor Xavier, ignoring Beast's comment that insulted him so.

"It doesn't matter." Said Beast.  "Can't we just say that the library had one in the back or something?"

"I suppose so." Said Professor Xavier with a shrug.


	7. SciFi

Sci-Fi

**Okay.  Have fun noting many cameo appearances.  Yes, these people are definitely copyrighted and we took them and used them and made fools of them without anyone's permission.  However, Eric is ours.  And I bet you're jealous.  Bwa ha ha ha ha…**

**And, as requested, "Shaking the World" is mentioned in this chapter.  Sorry, no Scott with White Hair yet, he has to be logically worked into the story since nothing else is logical, we might as well make a LITTLE sense into it.  But don't worry, he'll most likely show up when the time is right.**

"And where is the planet Torgo?" asked Lance to Scott.

"There's a map to it in this book." Said Scott.

"And what's the Geometric Nucleus?" asked Pietro.

"It is everything and nothing." Scott answered.

Everyone stared at him.

"Could you be a little more vague?" asked Pietro sarcastically.

"Hey, it's what the book says." Scott said defensively.

"All right, let's go to the Space Station that's down the street." Said Kitty.

"I thought that the library was going to have a spaceship!" Beast said.

"Well, I figured that since this is Sci-Fi, Bayville can have a Space Station." Professor Xavier replied.

"Ah…I understand." Said Beast with a nod.

Everyone piled into Scott's hover-car and sped off at warp speed to the Space Station.  It was an enormous port with hundreds of space vessels ready to launch at any time.

"Hi, we need to get to the planet Torgo." Said Lance to an alien with about seventy-five tentacle-like arms.  He was green with blemishes all over his body and was shaped like a light bulb with white hair that dragged on the floor.  He had many, many eyes and looked at all the vampires simultaneously.

"Well, that's good." Said the alien.  "My name is Eric.  I was just about to go to the planet Torgo.  I'm the captain of the spaceship Manos.  Meet my first mate, his name is Bar-Bar."

Suddenly, an alien that resembled a bunny rabbit on some sort of horrible addictive drug came over.  "Mesa first mate!"

The vampires decided right then and there that they were not going to deal with this first mate for the entire trip so they took out their phasers and shot Bar-Bar numerous times.

"Ready to board?" asked Eric as if the above event hadn't occurred.  He had probably wanted to rid himself of Bar-Bar for a while.  He reached his tentacle out and pulled a device that resembled a remote control closer to himself.  He pressed a button and nine tubes lowered down around the nine vampires.  Eric looked at the nervous looks on all their faces.  "Don't worry.  This gas will make you tolerant of gravity other than that of earth.  It'll also make you able to breath gases that are not oxygen."

"How convenient." Said Bobby.

"Well, this IS the thirtieth century." Said Eric.

The vampires shrugged and agreed since, after all, it WAS.  So they boarded the spaceship after receiving their treatment.

"This is my OTHER first mate, Xquixzion." Said Eric, gesturing to a greenish-brownish colored man that looked like a regular human except his forehead was twice the size as a normal person's.

"But please, call me Arthur." Said the knavish large foreheaded alien.

"Hello Arthur." Said Remy, shaking Arthur's hand.  Of course, he pronounced it 'Ateu' just like a regular French person would do.

"Arthur, this group of vampires needs to get to the planet Torgo on the double!" Eric explained.

"Of course." Said Arthur.  "Mr. Solu?"

"Yes Captain?" asked a guy who looked like a normal human but his voice was so low that it shook the entire spaceship.

"Warp speed to the planet Torgo!" Arthur declared.  Then he turned to all the vampires who were buckling their seatbelts.  "Click-it or Ticket!"

Suddenly a robot walked in.  

"Folder put your seatbelt on!" Mr. Solu yelled at the robot. 

"Seatbelts are for wimps!" said Folder as he turned to the pilot of the ship who was a woman with purple hair and three eyes.  "How about I pilot this thing, Bleela?"

"Folder, I am the co-pilot of the ship." Said Bleela.  "I don't need your help."

"We've got quite a large and diverse crew." Marveled Kitty as she looked around at all the aliens and robots.

All of a sudden, a teenage flipped in from above.  "HEY!!" he yelled.  "I thought this spaceship was only piloted by KIDS!"

"You don't look like an alien!" said Kurt.

"Of course not!" said the kid.  "I'm one hundred percent human, born and raised on good ol' planet Earth!  My name is Harlin.  Harlin Band."

"Hello Harlin Harlin Band." Said Bobby.

"Oh crying out loud, Al, when am I going to leap?!" Harlin Band demanded out of nowhere to absolutely no one as he started raging about and then stormed out of the main room.

"Who was that?" asked Lance.

"Oh, that's our captain in training." Eric answered.  "He's a bit feisty and disagreeable but has been acting strangely enthusiastic lately." Eric sighed.  "He always leaps before he looks…"

"Incoming transmission, sir." Said Mr. Solu as everyone braced themselves at the rumbling caused by Mr. Solu's speech.

"On screen." Said Eric.

"Charles, are you living vicariously through Eric?" asked Beast.

"What do you mean?" asked Professor Xavier.

"I know how much you've always wanted to be captain of a spaceship." Beast answered.  "I can hear you talking in your sleep at night.  'I am captain of the Starship Enterprise, Captain Charles Xavier!'"

"It's a LIE!!" Professor Xavier shouted.  "Don't you ever utter a word about that AGAIN!!"

"Sorry!" Beast whined as he leapt behind a chair and hid.

"Transmission on screen." Said Mr. Solu as he turned the screen on.

"All of your base are belong to us." Said the man who was wearing a dark, navy blue helmet who appeared on the screen almost instantly.  

"Oh come on…" whined Kurt.  "That wasn't even funny the FIRST time."

"What?" asked the navy blue clad man.  Then he looked at Kurt.  "Kurt… I are your father."

Kurt reached forward and turned the screen off.

"How much further until we get to Torgo?" he asked impatiently.

"Just a few light years." Said Eric.   "Not TOO much longer."

"Good." Said Lance.  "Because I'm beginning to feel a bit crowded with all these captains, pilots and mates from varying planets."

"And Remy don't want to be a vampire no more." Said Remy with a sigh. 

"Certainly!" said Eric.  "Mr. Solu, Bleela!  FASTER!"

"YES CAPTAIN!!!" HOLL-ered Mr. Solu and Bleela.  Unfortunately, because of Mr. Solu's ultra low voice, the frequency rumbled the space ship so much that it began to crumble from the inside.  Random pipes from nowhere came down from the ceiling and sprayed some people who hadn't been introduced quite yet.  Cornelius, most tragically, happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and a huge block from the ceiling dropped on him and crushed him and all of his vital organs.  He bled internally and eventually perished.  Many other people wearing red shirts met untimely ends that day.

"OH NO!!" said Eric.  "OUR UNIFORMS ARE RED!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" screamed the whole crew as the spaceship tumbled down to a planet that, thankfully, was the planet Torgo.  They crash-landed and the entire crew individually died in their very own gruesome or creative way by either being vaporized or something much more terrible than that.

The group of vampires emerged from the rubble slowly.  They had not died for a few reasons.  The first one was that none of them were wearing red shirts at the time.  The other reason was that they were vampires and vampires are the undead so they are not able to die again. 

Everyone looked around to be faced with many unfriendly looking aliens wielding long sticks surrounding everyone.  The aliens looked like normal humans except they had large bulging knees where their thighs should have been.

"C-c-come with us…" one of them stuttered as he played with Kitty's hair.  "The m-m-master will not like this…"

"The master?" asked Kitty.  

"M-m-my name is T-t-torgo and I l-l-look after the house while the m-m-master is away…" said what looked like the leader of them all.  He was slightly larger and wore a hat made of what looked like straw to the untrained eye.  The material was actually diamond woven into a string and weaved into a hat.

All the Torgo-ish people closed in the group and held out their sticks which were actually zappy sticks.  They proceeded to zap all the men until they were unconscious and then hoisted Kitty above their heads and carried her into the small hut that was there the whole time but went unnoticed to the group.

"Hey!!" yelled Kitty.  "What did you do to my friends?!"

"We're taking them to the dungeon where they will be transformed to look just like us!" said Torgo.

"And what are you going to do with me?!" Kitty demanded.

"You will become another wife for the Master!" Torgo answered as if something like that should make him extremely giddy and excited.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Kitty yelled as she jumped Torgo and sank her teeth into his neck, sucking the life out of him.  All the other Torgo-like people gasped and backed away from Kitty.  
________________________________________________________________________

"That reminds me, Charles." Said Beast.  "What about the cure?"

"Oh yes." Said Professor Xavier.  "I had nearly forgotten about that."

"How should we have them get cured?" asked Beast.  "Because personally, I want them to get off of this planet.  The whole sci-fi thing isn't really working."

"What do you mean?" asked Professor Xavier.  "I think it's going nicely."

"Maybe Kitty could talk them into giving her the cure and then she can break free the males." Thought Beast out loud.

 "You don't think a group with three of my X-Men could break free of a prison cell guarded and created by a bunch of stuttering aliens?" Professor Xavier said as if he were appalled.

"It's worth a try, I guess." Said Beast as he rolled his eyes.  
________________________________________________________________________

"This prison is made out of straw." Observed Bobby as he felt around the edges of the prison.  "It's layered pretty thickly and woven together pretty tightly so that it wouldn't be easily escapable."

"I could just teleport out." Said Kurt as he went to teleport out but remained in the prison.  "There's an anti-teleportation field surrounding this cell.  These aliens are smarter than we give them credit for!"

"How chaotic do you think it would be if Scott blasted a hole through the wall or Remy blew the whole thing up?" asked Pietro since he could personally offer no means of escaping.

"Very chaotic and hazardous to all of our healths." Said Scott as he pointed to his high-tech visor with advanced settings.  "Even the smallest setting could bounce right back at us!"

"I could burn it down." Said St. John.

"How about I shake the world?" suggested Lance.

"Hey, that might work!" said Bobby.

"How?" asked Scott.

"The world would be shaken." Lance answered.

"I could burn it down." St. John said a little louder since he assumed they hadn't heard him the first time.

"Burn it down?" said Kurt.  "Now that's an idea!"

"Remy don't wanna get burnt." Said Remy.

"Well, I could freeze it afterwards so the fire stops!" Bobby said.

"But then we'd be surrounded by ice." Scott pointed out.

"Well…then YOU could blast it down with your laser vision." Pietro said.

"All right!" said the whole team.  "Let's do it!!"

Then they performed the escape in this order; Bobby froze it, St. John set it aflame and Scott blasted it down.

No…that can't be right…

Scott blasted it FIRST, then St. John burnt it and then Bobby…

No…that's not right either.

St. John went first…then…Scott?

No…then it was Bobby…

There we go!  All done!  Okay, St. John set the straw aflame, Bobby froze it and then Scott blasted it down!  
________________________________________________________________________

"I TOLD you my X-Men could do it." Said Professor Xavier.

"Thinking out loud to yourself?" Beast said, pointing to the screen.

"Oh." Said Professor Xavier.  "Sometimes I get a little confused on what I'm thinking and what I'm saying…I'm speaking right now, right?"

"Yes." Said Beast.

"Okay." Said Professor Xavier.  "Good."

"May I point something out?" asked Beast.

"If you must." Sighed Professor Xavier.

"They weren't ALL your X-Men who worked out that little problem." Said Beast.  "One of them was an Acolyte and he did most of the work.  The other two were somewhat superfluous."

"If it weren't for Bobby icing the flames, they all would have gotten burnt." Said Professor Xavier defensively.  

"I'm sure young St. John has good enough control over the fire so that no one would have gotten burnt." Beast pointed out.

"Not in this story." Said Professor Xavier.  "In THIS story, he's a little less in control.  He's got a flaw in this fanfiction."

"Okay." Said Beast.  "So we can say that Bobby was indeed needed to ice the flames.  They didn't need Scott to blast them.  That could also be done by St. John.  As a matter of fact, it might have been safer to have done it that way.  That way, shards of ice wouldn't have…"

"Fine Hank!" yelled Professor Xavier hitting the delete key a few times.  "Have it YOUR way!"  
________________________________________________________________________

So St. John burned the hut down.  All by himself.  Neither Scott nor Bobby helped at ALL.

"Woo!" St. John cheered.  "Go me!"

Just then, Kitty came running up.  But there was something different about her.  She seemed perky and happy as opposed to dark and evil and vampirey.  
________________________________________________________________________

"Vampirey?" Beast asked.

"When did you become such a nitpick?!" Professor Xavier demanded.

"Well, I just figured that you of all people would at least not make up any words so…" started Beast.

"Just don't, Hank." Said Professor Xavier.  "Just don't."  Beast put his hands up in the air and decided to let the professor have his way.  
________________________________________________________________________

"Guys, I found the Geometric Nucleus!" she exclaimed.  "Look at me!  I'm CURED!!"

"How does it work?" asked Lance as he took the Geometric Nucleus in hand.  It suddenly emitted a bright glow that engulfed the group entirely.  The light swirled around everyone for a fleeting few moments before it finally was drawn back into the Geometric Nucleus.

"Are we cured?" asked Kurt as he felt around in his mouth.  "Aw man… I still have fangs!  I'm still a vampire!"

"You always had fangs you idiot." Said Lance as he rolled his eyes.  Then he looked at Kitty.  "Good job, pretty Kitty!"

"Like, get a clue Lance!" Kitty groaned.  "Now let's get off of this planet!"

"Yeah Kurt." Said Scott.  "Teleport us to the spaceship."

Everyone touched Kurt.

There was a dramatic pause.

"Anytime now." Said Scott.

"Are we still surrounded by an anti-teleportation force field?" Kurt asked, looking around.

"Maybe…" said Pietro.  "Guess we'll just have to walk!  See you all there!"  Everyone got ready to be left in the dust as they braced themselves but there was no gust of wind at all.  They looked up to see Pietro running off at regular HUMAN speed.  
________________________________________________________________________

"What are you planning, Charles?" Beast asked deviously.

"I think the Geometric Nucleus took away their powers." Said Professor Xavier with a smile.

"Hehehe…" said Beast.  "That outta be really dramatic for them."

"Yeah…it's not really Sci-Fi…" said Professor Xavier.  "I plan to keep them on the Planet Torgo for a while…"

"What?" asked Beast.  "So are we turning this fanfiction into a DRAMA now?"

"I guess so!" said Professor Xavier.


	8. Drama

Drama

**Ever seen a REALLY bad soap opera?  You haven't seen bad soap operas until you see what you're about to read.  …Did that make any sense?  Oh well!  This is REALLY REALLY bad.  You are now entering the Twilight Zone where nothing makes sense!**

"I don't understand it!" cried Pietro as he bent down in a track starting position, ready to burst into a jolt of speed.  He stood up and began running.  He was pretty fast but nothing short of extraordinary.  As a matter of fact, he ran exactly how a person would run without being affected by the mutant gene.  "Why can't I run fast?!"

"Maybe this anti-teleportation field affects your running powers as well?" suggested Lance.

"I don't think so, Lance." Said Scott dramatically.  "I believe that when we all touched the Geometric Nucleus, our mutant powers were stripped from us.  My mutant powers worked perfectly well earlier but look at this…"

Scott reached his hand up to the rim of his specially made sunglasses.  He firmly grasped them and slid them off his nose, keeping his eyes closed tightly.  

"You mean…?" said Bobby slowly as Scott slowly opened his eyes to reveal the kind green eyes that have been hidden for so long beneath the red sunglasses.

"Yes." Said Scott with a nod.  "Our mutant powers were taken along with our vampire powers."

Everyone gasped.  Lance, Pietro and St. John fainted.  Scott secretly cheered on the inside.  Kitty, Remy and Bobby were entirely indifferent.

"Hey!" said Kurt.  "If my mutant power was taken away, how come I'm still freakish looking?!"

"Remy always liked his power." Said Remy.  "But he's not particularly upset about losing it."  He took that opportunity to look in a small pool of water that they just so happened to be standing next to at the time.  "Remy's eyes still red."

"There's no problem with this!" said Scott.  "And now I'll do the thing that I've been waiting to do all my life!  I promised myself that when I could finally see without my sunglasses or protective eyewear, I would do…THIS!!"  Then Scott pulled a little fuzzy box out of his pocket and got on one knee, presenting the box to Kitty.  "Will you marry me Kitty?"

"Oh wow!" said Kitty.  "How can I say no to those green eyes?!  YES!!"

"Kitty!" yelled Lance, stomping over.  "All this time I thought we were promised to each other!!"

"Oh my, Lance…" said Kitty with a distressed look on her face.  "Had I but known you felt the same about me, I would have thought a bit before saying yes to Scott.  I love him but…but…I also love you!"

Kitty could no longer hold her tears within her.  She stood up and promptly ran away sobbing with her face buried within her hands.

"You bastard!" Scott yelled as he stood up and punched Lance.  

"Who's the bastard here, Scott?" asked Lance as he rubbed the blood from his nose.  "You know how I feel about Kitty!"

Scott bit his lip.  "Yes but…I can't help it." Said Scott as he clenched his fist.  "I love her so much!  I couldn't keep it within me anymore!  It was all a matter of who got to her first!"

"You think you're all special with your sexy green eyes!" Lance cried, trying as hard as he could to hold back his sensitive tears.  "Leave some of the good girls to us with less to brag about!"

Meanwhile, Remy was taking this opportunity to make the moves on Kitty.  "It's all right, chéri." Said Remy, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"Oh thank you, Remy!" said Kitty.  "You've always been like a big brother to me!"

"I just can't stand to see you sad." Said Remy.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?!" demanded Bobby.  "Can't you see she's upset enough?!"

"Remy just trying to make her happy." Remy answered.

"Well, she doesn't look very happy!" said Bobby.

"Stay out of this!" Remy yelled.

"Both of you!" Kitty screamed, putting her hands on her head.  "Stop fighting!!  I hate to see brothers fight!!"

"Brothers?!" gasped Remy and Bobby.

"Yes!" said Kitty.  "I wasn't supposed to tell you!  But…I found out years ago!  You two are actually brothers!"

"Gaaaasp…" said Remy and Bobby.

"Remy never knew." Said Remy.

"Bobby never knew either." Bobby agreed.

"Are you mocking Remy?" asked Remy.

"No, I love you, brother!" said Bobby, hugging Remy.  They embraced in a big brotherly…embrace.  
________________________________________________________________________

"Where the hell did THAT come from?!" Beast demanded out of nowhere.

"No swearing Mr. PG-13!" said Professor Xavier.  "I just thought I'd get a little soap operay to add to the drama."

"Oh." Said Beast.  "That actually adds a nice touch." 

"I knew you'd like it." Said Professor Xavier.

"What about Kurt, St. John and Pietro?" asked Beast.  "We have to somehow intertwine them in some sort of sick and twisted way."

"I know, Hank." Said the professor.  "I was getting there.  It'll come to me."

"So will Kitty go for Scott or Lance?" asked Beast.

"I was thinking that she could chose neither!" said Professor Xavier with a smirk.  "I was going to have Kurt attempt suicide because he feels that his mutant power was the only thing keeping him happy.  He could say something along the lines of 'without it, I am just an hideous demon!' and then Kitty could fall in love with him!"

"Better yet!" exclaimed Beast.  "Have her PRETEND to love him!  She could live a lie and it could fester within her until she cracks!"

"What about St. John and Pietro?" asked Professor Xavier.

"They could confess their love to each other." Said Beast.

"Pietro's already had a screwed up enough love life throughout this story." Said Professor Xavier.  "Let's leave him alone."

"All right." Said Beast.  "They should be related in some way.  But not brothers because that's already been done."

"So?"

"We can't do it TWICE." Beast yelled.  "How about… father and son?"

"Father and son, Hank?" asked Professor Xavier.  "I don't think so."

"How about twins?" said Beast.

"They don't look the same…and they're not the same age…and Pietro already has a twin…" Professor Xavier said, counting off his fingers.  "Besides, wouldn't that be the same thing as being brothers and you just seem to be so offended by two people being brothers."

"How about this?" said Beast.  "They were neighbors when they were little and used to be best friends…"

"But…?" Professor Xavier led.

"But…" Beast pondered.  "One of them moved away.  Pietro did when they put Wanda in the nuthouse."

"All right, sounds good." Professor Xavier said, turning back to the computer.  
________________________________________________________________________

"I can't believe this is happening to me…" Kurt sighed as he stared into the same pool of water Remy looked in earlier.  "My powers were what kept me alive.  They keep me happy.  Without them, I am just a hideous demon!"

Kurt then smacked his reflection and turned away in disgust.  He suddenly felt slight pressure on his shoulders and he turned around to see Kitty behind him with her hands rested on both sides of his neck.  

"What's wrong, Kurt?" she asked, wiping her own tears from eyes to hide the fact that she had also been crying.

"It's nothing…" said Kurt quietly.  "It's just that…being able to teleport was like making up for looking like this!"

Then he turned around and looked at Kitty who flinched.

"It's not so bad, Kurt…"

"Yes it is," said Kurt, turning his head away.  "With the ability to teleport, I could escape the angry mobs!  Now…"

"Don't worry about it, Kurt!" said Kitty, kneeling down and hugging him.  "You know who you're TRUE friends are!"

Meanwhile, St. John and Pietro were still complaining about losing their powers.

"I guess it's all for the better." Said St. John with a sigh.  "It's my punishment for being too obsessed with the flame."

"I've had my powers ever since I was a little kid!" Pietro narrated.  "I remember racing the kids back home on Walnut Street…maybe I used it too much for my own benefit."

"Hey, I grew up on Walnut Street too!" said St. John.

"Really?" said Pietro.  "I only stayed there until I was about seven.  Then we had to move because my sister was sent to the nuthouse."

"Hey, my best friend moved away when I was seven!" said St. John.

"You're joking!" Pietro exclaimed.

"Now that I think about it…I DID have a little Albino friend who could run at inhumane speeds!" St. John said.

"I'm not Albino." Said Pietro.

"You look it." Said St. John.

Pietro paused.  "Hey!" he said suddenly.  "You're Johnny!  From up the street!  Why didn't I see it before?  How could I forget that I had a friend who liked to burn things?"

"I didn't have my powers back then." Said St. John.  "You moved right before my powers manifested."

"How could I have missed that?" Pietro sighed.  "We were best friends."

"We have SO much catching up to do!" St. John declared.  "Do you remember the time when I tried to burn down Mrs. Johanson's house?!"

"How could I forget?" Pietro said, putting his hands on his hips.  "It was my idea after all!"

"Yeah, that mean old lady took our Frisbee!" said St. John.  "She probably still has it too!"

"She never gave it back?" Pietro gasped, slapping his cheeks.  "Was it that yellow and red one…?"

"It was!" St. John answered.

"We used to play with that thing every day!" Pietro laughed.

"When you left, things just weren't the same anymore." St. John explained.  "I never went on any adventures because the only other kids in the neighborhood were girls."

"That's too bad." Said Pietro.  "I went ahead to lead a very screwed up and secluded life where I had limited friends and free time."

"Me too!" said St. John.  "But you think YOU'RE screwed up?  I'm more psychotic than your sister!"

"Yeah…" said Pietro.  "I guess when people are separated from me then they go insane!"

Meanwhile, Scott and Lance were still arguing over Kitty.

"Stop flaunting your sexy green eyes at me!" Lance commanded.  "I'll never amount to you, Scott!"  Lance gasped and covered his mouth.

"What was that?" Scott asked.

"Nothing!" Lance said, turning away.

"You just said I was sexy!" Scott said.  "Again!"

"I did not!"

"Yes you did!  You said it just a second ago!"

"It's not true!"

"I heard you!"

"Well…" said Lance hesitantly as he leapt forward and wrapped his arms around Scott.  "I love you!!"  
________________________________________________________________________

Beast didn't say anything.  Professor Xavier just stopped typing, turned to Beast and folded his hands patiently.

"Okay." Said Beast.  "Why?"

"I support these two." Professor Xavier answered.  "I think they would be good for each other and could potentially bring the X-Men and the Brotherhood together."

"Wait…you mean in real life?" Beast said, his eyes bulging.  Professor Xavier nodded.  "Please don't do anything to influence that.  People could probably end up killing each other because of this.  What about Jean?  What about Kitty?  Besides, this is turning back into a slash."

"I'm getting tired of drama." Professor Xavier confessed.  "It's just plot after plot and nothing really is happening.  I want something to happen."

"Maybe they could go on a quest to get their powers back." Beast said.

"No…" said Professor Xavier.  "Maybe they should have to LEARN their powers again!"

"Where would they learn something like that?" asked Beast.  "Here?"

"No, they're on the Planet Torgo, silly!" said Professor Xavier.

They pondered for a moment.

"Maybe they could learn at Hogwarts!" said Professor Xavier AND Beast at the very same time.  Actually, Beast thought of it initially and Professor Xavier liked the idea so he tried to steal it by reading Beast's mind but Beast said it so he didn't sound like he was the soul provider of the idea.

"But…hm…that would be a crossover." Said Beast.

"That's fine." Said Professor Xavier.  "I have no problems with crossovers."

"Neither do I." Beast agreed.

"Then a crossover is next!" Professor Xavier declared.


	9. Crossover

Crossover

**You all ready for some Harry Potter insanity?!  Please excuse our lack of knowledge, we really are big fat jerks for putting all you Harry Potter extremists through this.  Oh well!  Just sit back and enjoy and whatever you do, DON'T take it serious!  If WE took it seriously, we would go home every day and cry.**

Scott looked at Lance hesitantly.  Before he could say anything, an owl flew by and dropped a package of eight letters at his feet.  

He picked them up to see that there was a letter addressed to each individual X-Men.  The rest of the group had come over, curious about the owl, so Scott handed the letters out.

"Curious!" said St. John, opening his envelope.  "Very curious!"

"Excuse me…but…what's curious?" asked Pietro.

"I am!" said St. John as he pulled the letter out.  Everyone read over their letters slowly and reread them to make sure they didn't misread.

"Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?" they said all at the same time more or less.

"It says that we've been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for however long it takes us to learn our powers back." Said Scott.

"YAY!!" cheered everyone as they threw a party.  Except for Scott who was sad.

"Well, I don't want to learn my powers back…" Scott whined.

"You could just NOT learn then." Said Bobby.

"Or you can go back to Earth." Remy added.

"Maybe I could learn some other power…" Scott said, rubbing his chin.

"That's a good idea, Scott!" said Kitty.  "I think I'll do that!"

All of a sudden, eight more owls carrying a Nimbus Two Thousand and Fireball each.  They dropped the brooms to the feet of the X-Men and then flew away.

"A Nimbus Two Thousand and Fireball?" Lance said, looking at the label.

"Whatever!" said everyone as they boarded their brooms and followed the owls back to Hogwarts.

"WHOMP!!" screamed the Whomping Willow as it tried to whomp everyone as they flew down.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" yelled everyone as they tried to avoid being whomped.  It wasn't very hard.

They left their brooms at the door and walked inside where Professor McGonegall was talking to the First Years.  The X-Men slowly crept up to the back of the mob.  Some of them were about a head taller than the knavish little First Years.

"Oh yes." Said Professor McGonegall in a crickily crackily voice.  "These students are going to be joining us temporarily.  In a few moments you will pass through these doors and be sorted into your houses!"  Then they all went into the Great Hall and there was a Sorting Hat there.  He sang his little song and then it was time to sort everyone!

"When I read your name you will come up here and be sorted!" said Professor McGonegall as she held up a scroll.

"Are we going to be split up?" Kitty whispered to the other X-Men.

"Remy don't think so." Said Remy.

"Scott Summers!" Professor M called.

"I'm first!" said Scott as he stood up and ran over to the Sorting Hat.  He hadn't even reached the hat when it shouted 'GRYFFINDOR!!'  AWK!!  "I'm in Gryffindor!  HURRAH!!"

"Scott, stop getting so excited!" called Kurt.  "You're embarrassing us!"  
________________________________________________________________________

"Sorry, Charles." Said Beast.  "But I just don't see Scott running around cheering like that.  Especially because he was sorted into Gryffindor."

"I just think that Scott would take this very seriously." Professor Xavier replied.

"Whatever you say Charles…" Beast sighed.  
________________________________________________________________________

One by one, they were all sorted so that Kurt joined Scott in Gryffindor, Bobby and Kitty made Ravenclaw, St. John was in Hufflepuff and Pietro and Remy were in Slytherin.  The only one left to be sorted was Lance!

Lance went up to the Sorting Hat and put it on his head.

"Well…" said the Sorting Hat.  "You definitely belong in Slytherin.  But…I'm kind of a nitpick and I want you all to be in groups of two…HUFFLEPUFF!!!"

"WHAT?!" demanded Lance.

"The Sorting Hat has spoken!" Professor M said, tearing the hat off of Lance's head.  "Okay!  Now you may all leave now that all the main characters have been sorted!"

So all of the students of Hogwarts, excluding all of the unsorted first years, filed out of the Main Hall.  The 'New Students' separated from each other and went to their individual houses.

"I wonder which power I should learn…" wondered Scott out loud as he sat down in the Gryffindor common room with Kurt.

"I'm still getting over the fact that we've randomly been accepted into Hogwarts, some school I didn't even think was real." Said Kurt.

"Well it IS real Kurt." Said Scott.  "And we're here."

"I've noticed."

"What are you going to learn?" asked Scott.

"Hm…" said Kurt as he flipped though the course guide.  "Some Transfiguration… maybe Potions…I definitely have to learn how to teleport again considering that's the whole reason why I'm here."

"I think Transfiguration might be fun…" Scott agreed.

Meanwhile, in Slytherin…

"We're so bad." Said all the Slytherins.

All of a sudden, Malfoy-kun walked  
  


________________________________________________________________________

"CHARLES." Said Beast, sounding annoyed.

"I'm sorry!" said Professor Xavier.  "But that's how I distinguish him from his father!  I call him Malfoy-kun and his father Malfoy-sama!"

"Where did you get an absurd idea like that?!" demanded Beast.  They simultaneously turned and looked at the readers and then back at each other.  "Just erase it.  You promised."

"Oh very well but you're still no fun at all!" said Professor Xavier.

All of a sudden, Malfoy walked over to Remy and Pietro who were sitting innocently on a large green couch.

"As new Slytherins, you must first pass the initiation test." He announced.  A bunch of other Slytherins turned their heads to see what was going to happen THIS time.

"Initiation test?" asked Remy.  

"Isn't it enough that we were put into this house by a talking hat?" asked Pietro.

"Ever since I found out that the Sorting Hat said that Potter 'could have been great in Slytherin', I've questioned its judgment." Said Malfoy with a sneer.  "I trust only the judgment of a genuine Slytherin and whatever ridiculous tasks they may come up with to prove one's Slytheriness!"

"Me?  Pietro Maximoff?  No WORTHY?!  Listen to me…" started Pietro but he suddenly felt Remy's presence as he peered over to see Remy leaning over to whisper in his ear.  "What?"

"'Dis kid reminds me of you." Said Remy with a grin.  "White hair, full of himself, annoying… you could be twins."

"WHAT?!" Pietro demanded, appalled.

Meanwhile in Ravenclaw…

"Perhaps I could learn to hover things!  I'd have powers just like Jean but it's not like that's a bad thing!" said Kitty, flipping through the course selection book.  "I swear, walking through walls does NOT count as a power."

"I'm hoping to just learn my ice powers back and then leave." Said Bobby.  "It would be too much of a change if I tried something new."

"What class could you take to learn ICE powers?" asked Kitty.

"Or maybe!" said Bobby suddenly, ignoring Kitty entirely.  "I could just leave now and go home, NOT being a mutant!!"

"You'd rather NOT have some sort of special super human power?" asked Kitty.  "I mean, I know I want to be normal but having a power is just WAY to cool."

"Maybe I could just learn to be a wizard." Said Bobby.  "My parents hate mutants but maybe they don't hate WIZARDS!  I can still have cool powers and not be a mutant!"

"You should try looking through this." Said Kitty as she handed Bobby the book.  "It's not as easy as you'd think.  Plus, we're only temporary students so it's not like we have the necessary seven years."

Meanwhile in Hufflepuff…

"One more time…" said Lance as he thought hard, as if still trying to figure something out.  "What house are we in again?"

"Hufflepuff." St. John answered, trying to fight back his tears.

Just then, Justin Finch-Fletchy walked over carrying a bunch of robes.  "Here in Hufflepuff, we don't get brand new robes." He explained.  "We get all these hand-me-down robes.  Here you go!"

He then tossed a robe to St. John and Lance.

"We have to SHARE a robe?" St. John said, sounding disgusted.

"No…" said Justin Finch Fletchy.  "If you want, you can cut it in half or something.  But we didn't realize that we would be getting new Hufflepuffs this year so we didn't have any spares.  We found this one up in the attic by chance so you two should be thankful."

Considering St. John and Lance weren't ABOUT to say, "Oh, that's okay!", they both jumped Justin Finch-Fletchy and stole HIS robe so they each got their own!  HURRAY!!

The next day, the Hufflepuffs and Slytherins had Potions with Professor Snape.

"Charles, I'm not very well adverse in the language of Harry Potter." Beast said suddenly, sounding nervous.

"You're not are you?" Professor Xavier said, raising an eyebrow.

"I've seen the first movie two or three times…and the second movie two times I think…"

"Don't tell me you haven't read the books!"

"I haven't…"

"The books are so much better!  They left so much out of the movies!  I was appalled and brought my book along so I could shout out every little detail they left out and whenever they changed one of the lines that I held dear to me!  I was so angry…"

"It's all right, Charles." Said Beast, regretting that he brought it up.  "Just type and I'll be quiet, okay?"

"Hey Weasley!" said Malfoy as he sat behind St. John.  "I despise your red hair and your hand-me-down robe!"

St. John looked behind him at Malfoy.  "Are you, by some off chance, talking to me?" he asked.

"Who else would I be talking to?" Malfoy asked as his two stupid minions chuckled.  "I only see one Weasley here!"

"I'll have you know that I am NOT a Weasley." Said St. John.  "You must have me confused with someone else because I don't even know who the Weasleys are!  I am, in fact, a proud member of the Allerdyce family and if you think that I am…"

"Weasley!" said Professor Snape angrily.  "Stop talking out in the middle of class!  Ten points from Gryffindor!"

"I'm not in Gryffindor." Said St. John.

"Ten more points for talking back to me!" Professor Snape shouted.

"Not only am I not in Gryffindor but I'm not Weasley either!" St. John argued.

"Ten more points!"

"There aren't even any Gryffindors in this room!!" St. John yelled.  "I am a HUFFLEPUFF!!"

"What are you even doing here, Weasley?!" demanded Professor Snape.  "This is my Slytherin-Hufflepuff Potions class!  Get out of my room this instant!"

St. John shrugged and decided that he didn't want to be in this class anyway so he stood up and left.

"Hey!" said Lance, standing up.  "That's not fair!  Don't leave me alone with all these Hufflepuffs and Slytherins!"

"Be quiet…" said Professor Snape, looking at his class list.  "Alvers!"

Lance sat down in his seat as he enviously watched St. John leave the class.

Pietro and Remy were sitting next to each other.  They turned to each other and shrugged at the exact same time.  They were Slytherins.  They ruled.

Meanwhile, the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws had Herbology together.

"I can't see how this is going to help me learn back my powers…" said Bobby as he potted some screaming plants.

"I know!" said Kitty.  "I can't see this coming in handy!"

"Frankly, I like not having to wear my sunglasses!" said Scott as he senselessly flaunted his sexy green eyes at some Ravenclaw girls.

"What's that got to do with anything?" asked Kurt.

"Nothing." Said Scott.

Then they continued to pot their screaming plants.

"Ah, my scar…" came the voice of Harry Potter from across Scott.

"Are you all right, Harry?" asked Ron.

"Yeah…it's just my scar again…no big deal…" Harry answered.

"But it always starts hurting whenever You-Know-Who or any of his followers are close by!" Hermione pointed out.

"But there can't possibly be any of THOSE people around!" said Ron.

"I must ask, Charles…" said Beast.  "Where is this story going?"

"What do you mean?" asked Professor Xavier.

"Are they just going to hang out in Hogwarts learning their powers back?"

"You don't think that would be exciting?"

"But that's already been done…you know, with the REAL Harry Potter books and movies."

"And look at the author!  She made MILLIONS!  Everyone loves her!"

"I guess that would be something we call 'plagiarism'." Beast explained.

"Oh right." Said Professor Xavier.  "I forgot all about that little aspect…But I don't want them to leave the world of Harry Potter so quickly!  I enjoy it far too much!"

"Maybe one of the X-Men or any others could fall in love with one of the Harry Potter characters!" Beast suggested.

"Who?" asked Professor Xavier.

"Well…let's leave Pietro alone…" said Beast.  "Who hasn't anything drastically weird happen to them?"

"How about St. John?" said Professor Xavier.  "I mean, he was straight during the Slash story after all."

"But everyone thinks he's Ron Weasley."

"Maybe someone who's in love with Ron can mistake St. John for Ron and profess their love to St. John!"

"But no one's in love with Ron…"

"You've only seen the first two movies but later on, Ron and Hermione are DEFINITELY in love!"

"It can't be Hermione!  She would be able to tell the difference St. John and Ron.  After all, they're friends."

"Lovers." Professor Xavier said.

"Um…no." said Beast.  "Someone else."

"Well…we'll make someone up!"

"But that would be ANOTHER original character!"

"I know!  It could be Angelina Johnson!"

"…Who's she?" asked Beast.

"She's on the Gryffindor Quidditch team." Said Professor Xavier.

"How are we going to get these two together?" asked Beast.  

"Just watch my magic fingers!" Professor Xavier almost sang as he began typing furiously.

Meanwhile, St. John was wandering the hallways alone.  He had been kicked out of his first class because he was mistaken for this mysterious 'Ron Weasley'.

"At this rate, I'll NEVER get my powers back!" St. John said, sounding angry.  He walked quickly with frustration and accidentally crashed into a girl who seemed to be hurrying to her next class.  Her books and papers fluttered everywhere.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" she said frantically.

"I'll get it…" sighed St. John as the two of them bent down and started picking up the papers.  She looked at him.

"Hey…you're one of the Weasleys, aren't you?" she said, pointing at him.

St. John shrugged.  "Sure!" he said.  "Why not?  Ron." He put his hand out for her to shake.

"Angelina Johnson." She said, shaking his hand.  "So um…where are you going in such a hurry?"

"My professor kicked me out of class…" St. John answered as he picked up the last book.  The two stood up.  "So I'm just waiting until it's time for my next one."

"Um…look, I'm late enough as it is…" Angelina said, looking around.  "I really have to go…but…do you want to hang out later?  You're in Gryffindor, aren't you?  We could meet in the common room…later or something…"

"Actually, I'm in Hufflepuff." Said St. John.

"Oh really?" said Angelina.  "I heard that ALL the Weasleys were in Gryffindor!"

"Not me!" said St. John.  "I'm special."

"Yeah…I can see that." Said Angelina with a smile.  But then she blushed.  "I have to go!  See you later!"  She hurried off.

"Charles, this is going to turn into another Romance portion of the story." Beast interrupted.

"Well…we could change it around." Said Professor Xavier.  "So it's not just 'Oh, I love you Ron!' and 'I love you Angelina!'"

"What did you have in mind?" asked Beast.

"You'll see!" said Professor Xavier.

"Oh TELL me Charles!" Beast pleaded.

"If I told you then it wouldn't be a surprise!" Professor Xavier sang.


	10. Poetry

Poetry

**Whoa.  We THOUGHT this was going to be fun.  But it really wasn't.  That's why the chapter is so short.  Hey, we didn't even write this poem.  Wormmon did.**

That night, St. John was the only one awake in the Hufflepuff dorm room.  The only sound in the air was Lance snoring in the bed on top of his.  He sighed and wondered why he couldn't get any sleep.

He rolled over and thought about Angelina Johnson.  Before he knew it, a smile and crept in but he quickly shook it off.  HE, the well known mentally unstable Pyromaniac, couldn't possibly be falling in love!  Perhaps it could be another side effect of his uncontrollable insanity?

Who was he kidding?  Angelina Johnson…she didn't even know his name.

"What am I going to do?" St. John said, reaching under his bed and pulling out a piece of parchment and a quill.  He paused and wondered what he was doing but before he could question himself fully, he was already writing furiously…and his inspiration was Angelina.

_Do you remember? The day we met   
If I close my eyes, there you are   
Tears flowing, all alone   
Hurt and lost_

He stared at the paper.  Had he really come up with such a thing?  His eyes were now growing heavy and he shoved the parchment under his bed and lied down, closing his eyes and seeing only Angelina.

_Even if you can't see where you're going   
Even if your heart stumbles   
I promise you, I'll search for you   
Your courage makes me smile_

The next morning, St. John's first class was Charms.  He walked with Lance, hearing, yet not listening, to his endless rants about how boring the school day was.  For some reason, St. John had a skip in his step.  For some reason, he knew that today would be a good one.

For some reason, Angelina Johnson was in his Charms class.

"What's up?" Lance said, waving his hand in from of St. John's face.  "Anybody home?"

"Uh…what?" St. John said, breaking out of his trance.

"Looks like we're doubled up with the goody-goody Gryffindors today." Lance said, rolling his eyes.  "Let's find a seat."

Lance pulled St. John right by where Angelina was sitting.  Their eyes locked momentarily but not for more than a second.

St. John let his mind wander, looking over at Angelina every time the teacher even so much as glanced in the opposite direction.  He quickly discovered that she was doing the same thing.  Then she began writing and then passed the folded piece of parchment to the girl next to her.  The paper was passed down through the whole row of people until it finally reached St. John.

Written on the outside of the folded paper was the word 'Ron'.

St. John furiously unfolded it and read what was inside.

_Someday we'll fly in the sky   
I can fly for you   
Kick away cowardice and weakness   
The future you dreamed of, the future I dreamed of   
You're not alone   
Don't give up_

It was a poem!  A beautiful composition of love!

St. John knew what he had to do.  He immediately decided to write back.

_The shapeless horizon   
The evening sun melts   
Even if it seems as if a freezing night has come   
Don't be afraid, I'll be by your side_

_Even if you're far away   
And there are times we can't be close together   
I'm always, always thinking of you   
That's why I can be strong_

Would she like it?  She HAD to like it!  He had poured his heart into it to be sure that she would like it!

"Charles, if you wanted to randomly insert phrases in the middle of the story, why don't you just write a songfic?" Beast asked suddenly.

"A songfic?" Professor Xavier said, perking up.  "Now how come didn't I think of that?"

"I don't know." Said Beast.

"Yes…but that arises a dilemma…" Professor Xavier said.  "What song?"

"Well…maybe we could change the plot?" Beast suggested.  "We could fast forward to the point in time which they all relearned their powers back… and now they have to leave."

"Oh…poor St. John." Said Professor Xavier sadly.  "Parting will be such sweet sorrow for him and Angelina."

"Maybe Angelina can come with them!" said Beast.

"I like it!" Professor Xavier said, pointing his finger up into the air.


	11. Songfic

Songfic

**You guys laugh at our tragedy and romance!  You know what would be funny?  If we submitted this story without the comments in the middle in a different section, like romance or something, and see how that crowd reviews it.  Do you suppose they'll say, "THIS IS SO HILARIOUS!!!" or something more along the lines of "That was so sad!!"  That's actually a good idea.  I think we'll do it.**

**Search for Red and Silver.**

"It's been wonderful having you here at Hogwarts." Said Dumbledore as he said goodbye to each of them.

"What song are you doing, Charles?" asked Beast.

"Well…I just decided to choose my current favorite song." Professor Xavier answered.  "'The Christmas Shoes' by Newsong!"

"'The Christmas Shoes'?" Beast said.  "But what as that got to do with the plot that's going on?"

"The songs NEVER have anything to do with the plots!" said Professor Xavier in that 'Oh Beast, you're so silly!' tone.  "A songfic is merely this; a song randomly inserted into a story every few lines just to make the story seem more insightful!"

"Wow!" said Beast.  "You're STILL teaching me things every day!"

"Naturally." Said Professor Xavier.

"Goodbye Professor!" said the X-Men, waving off to Dumbledore.

St. John was saying his last goodbyes to Angelina.

"Hogwarts just won't be the same without you, Ron." Angelina said, tears streaming down her face.

"It's all right." Said St. John, wiping away some of her tears.  "I'll find you again someday.  And we'll be together."

_It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line_

_Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood_

_Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously_

_Pacing 'round like little boys do_

_And in his hands he held a pair of shoes_

"I'm going to miss you so much." Said Angelina, hugging him tightly.  "I'll never let go!"

"We gotta go!" Scott called to St. John.  "Hurry up!"

"Take me with you!" Angelina declared.

"What?" St. John said.  "You have to attend school!  Don't you want to become a witch?"

"I did…" Angelina answered.  "Until I met you…"

_His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe_

_And when it came his time to pay_

_I couldn't believe what I heard him say_

St. John looked back at Scott and the rest of the X-Men.  "Bring her along!" cheered Kitty.  "We could use more girl power!"

"I got no problems." Said Lance.

"Whatever you want!" Kurt agreed.  The rest of the X-Men agreed.  Angelina looked back at Dumbledore.

He smiled and slowly nodded his head.

Angelina turned back to St. John.  "We'll be together forever!" she exclaimed happily.

_"Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please_

_It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size_

_Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time_

_You see she's been sick for quite a while_

_And I know these shoes would make her smile_

_And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight"_

Everyone boarded the space ship and took off as the entire school waved them off.

"We have to get back to Earth." Said Bobby watching the planet Torgo get smaller off in the distance on the main screen.

"Does anyone even know how to pilot this thing?" Pietro said.  "I mean, we got to Torgo with an entire crew and now we're…well, kind of SHORT an entire crew."

"And the engines are failing!" Remy said, looking at a screen in the corner.  "Remy thinks we been on the planet too long so 'dis thing not used to flying."

_He counted pennies for what seemed like years_

_Then the cashier said, "Son, there's not enough here"_

_He searched his pockets frantically_

_Then he turned and he looked at me_

_He said "Mama made Christmas good at our house_

_Though most years she just did without_

_Tell me Sir, what am I going to do,_

_Somehow I've got to buy her these Christmas shoes"_

"Our only hope is to use the extra power boosters!" said Scott.

"Where are those?!" Kitty yelled.

"How am I supposed to know?!" Scott demanded.

"You're the one who suggested it!" Kitty yelled back.

"I was just saying that!" said Scott angrily.  "I don't even know if there ARE any extra power boosters!"

_So I laid the money down, I just had to help him out _

_I'll never forget the look on his face when he said_

_"Mama's gonna look so great"_

"What are we going to do?" Angelina cried as the ship began to rock.

"I'm sorry you had to be put through this!" St. John said.

"I've got it!" said Scott.  "With my brand new powers of telekinesis, I should be easily able to float us safely onto the nearest planet!"

"It's a good thing you learned telekinetic powers!" said Kitty.  "I was stupid enough to just decide to go back to walking through walls…you know, I didn't want to try anything new…"

_"Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please_

_It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size_

_Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time_

_You see she's been sick for quite a while_

_And I know these shoes would make her smile_

_And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight"_

Scott concentrated on making the ship float.  But the nearest planet was awfully far away and he didn't know if he could possibly make it.

"I could help!" Angelina said, reaching for her wand.

"No!" said St. John, grabbing her arm.  "Let Scott do it."  Angelina nodded.

_I knew I'd caught a glimpse of heaven's love_

_As he thanked me and ran out_

_I knew that God had sent that little boy_

_To remind me just what Christmas is all about_

Scott strained his mind until they finally came across a planet just as he felt as though he couldn't go any further.  The landing was an unsteady one, but they were all alive nonetheless!

"Where are we?" Pietro said, looking at the main screen.

"Oh no!" said Angelina.  "This planet isn't the one I THINK it is, is it?"

_"Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please_

_It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size_

_Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time_

_You see she's been sick for quite a while_

_And I know these shoes would make her smile_

_And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight"_

"I don't know." Said Kurt.  "What planet do you think it is?"

"The Planet Rogue!" Angelina gasped.  "But it is!  How could you have possibly landed here?!"

"What do you mean?" asked Scott.  "What could possibly be wrong with the Planet Rogue?"

"There's an evil tyrant overlord, Rogue." Angelina answered.  "She's just downright evil!  She kills innocent men, women AND children…for fun!"

"What is it?" asked Beast.  "Why did you stop typing, Charles?"

"The song is over." Said Professor Xavier.  "I can't write anymore."

"We could choose another song." Beast said.

"That would just confuse the reader!" Professor Xavier protested.

"How about we just start the song over again?" asked Beast.

"You're just FILLED with good ideas, Hank!" said Professor Xavier.

_It was almost Christmas time, there I stood in another line_

_Tryin' to buy that last gift or two, not really in the Christmas mood_

_Standing right in front of me was a little boy waiting anxiously_

_Pacing 'round like little boys do_

_And in his hands he held a pair of shoes_

"Then let's get outta here." Said Lance.  "Remy?  How are our engines?"

"Dead." Remy answered.  "Remy don't think he can fix them."

"So your nine years training at Engineering School does you no good?!" Lance demanded.

"Don't blame Remy for 'dis." Remy said, standing up and getting all in Lance's face.  "He didn't plan 'dis."

_His clothes were worn and old, he was dirty from head to toe_

_And when it came his time to pay_

_I couldn't believe what I heard him say_

"Just two questions/comments, Charles." Said Beast, putting his hand on Professor Xavier's shoulder.  "The first…I think it's kind of ludicrous to repeat the song over again.  Why don't we just move onto a new genre?"

"I was thinking the same thing…" Professor Xavier admitted.  "What was your second question?"

"Oh right." Said Beast.  "Did Remy really train nine years at an engineering school?"

"Oh my no." said Professor Xavier.  "I just thought maybe I'd throw that it.  I was planning on making Kitty a princess from another planet!  And then I was going to have Lance formally king of the Planet Rogue before he was overthrown."

"By who?" asked Beast.

"Rogue." Professor said as if it were obvious.

"Since when is Rogue evil?"

"Since now."

"And since when is Kitty a princess and…?"

"Since now."

"This is some sort of alternate universe of yours, isn't it?"

"Oh Beast." Said Professor Xavier.  "I think you just chose our next genre."


	12. Alternate Universe

Alternate Universe

**Wee!!  This story just keeps making less and less sense the more we write it.  It's crazy!  How many more plot holes can we create?  How many more backgrounds can we make up?  How many more people must DIE and SUFFER to make this one stupid little story?!**

**You all ask for Rogue.  You all just think that because we're crazy, we'll go and honor your requests.  JUST because Rogue's only part in this story so far was walking by with Storm does not mean that we're going to give her a significant role.  Or…will we…?**

**For your unruly demands, we are going to severely punish Rogue.  Mwa ha ha ha ha…**

"But…" started Lance.  "The Planet Rogue wasn't ALWAYS called the Planet Rogue."

"What do you mean, Lance?" asked Scott.

"A long time ago, this planet was inhabited by my people." Lance answered as he tried to hold back his tears.  "It was filled with people just like me.  Everyone here could shake the world so it was a very chaotic society.  One day, a girl was born who could not shake the world.  She was shunned and ostracized and soon grew to hate all us people who COULD shake the world!"

"Who could blame her?" asked Remy with a raised eyebrow.

Lance eyed Remy.  "When she was old enough, she overthrew the king and took over, enslaving all the people!"

"How could she have possibly enslaved the people if they could shake the world and she couldn't?" asked Pietro.

"I can't help but notice that an entire minute has went by since you were last typing." Beast said.  "Is something wrong, Charles?  Writer's block?"

"Not exactly." Professor Xavier said, leaning back in his chair.  "Pietro rose a reasonable question."

Beast and Professor Xavier momentarily brainstormed.

"I know!" said Beast.

"I can always rely on you!" said Professor Xavier.

"Well, Rogue couldn't shake the world, right?" Beast clarified.  Professor Xavier nodded. "You never stated that she didn't have any OTHER powers, did you?  She could have some sort of neutralizing power that makes…"

Beast paused.

"Oh right." He said.  "Rogue DOES have that power."

"Yeah…maybe she found a way to magnify that power though." Professor Xavier continued.  "So there's constantly waves going out sucking the shaking the world power of the people of the Planet Rogue!"

"Yes!" said Beast, bouncing up and down.  "Hurry!  Type more!  I want to know what happens!"

"How do you know so much about Rogue anyway?" asked Bobby.

"Because…" Lance started.  "I used to be king of this planet."

"GASP!" gasped everyone.

"I fled to earth where she wouldn't be able to find me but I can no longer stay in hiding while my people suffer!" Lance declared.  "Because Rogue won't stop with this planet!  Soon she'll move onto other ones!  Like yours, Kitty!"

"You're right!" Kitty said.  "My father, the king, sent me a message earlier and said that Rogue's forces had invaded the planet!"

"For the sake of the universe, we have to stop her!" St. John said.

"You can't defeat Rogue as you are!" Angelina declared.  "In order to save the world, I will have to become my goddess form and drain my power into all of you, giving you the power you need to destroy her!"

"What will happen to you?!" St. John said, grabbing her hands.

"It doesn't matter!" Angelina answered bravely.  "If I can give you the power to go on, I don't care what happens to me!"  She let go of St. John's hands and took a few steps backwards.  Tears flowing, she closed her eyes and the whole group was soon engulfed by a white glow that surrounded them.

"ANGELINA!!" St. John called.  But the white glow soon disappeared and Angelina was gone.  St. John took a deep breath because he knew that Angelina would not want him to mourn over her death because it went to such a good cause.  The eight looked at what they were now wearing to see they all had suits of a different color and were equipped with all sorts of weapons.

"Wow!" said Scott who was red and held a long sword in his hand.  "I feel so pumped!"

"You're right!" said Kurt as he flung his nun chucks around crazily.  "My power is surging!  I feel as though I could teleport anywhere on the planet right now!"  Then he looked down at what he was wearing.  "Blue?!  Great.  I'm blue." He paused.  "Da ba dee."

"Lance, maybe you should stay behind." Said Kitty who was dressed in pink as she held out the nozzle of the flamethrower she had.  "It's too dangerous."

"No!" said Lance who was in green as he loaded his bow up with a green arrow.  "I have to help my people!"

"We should split up into two groups." Said Remy who was in black as he swung the long stick he had as if an enemy was attacking.  (What OTHER weapon would he get?!)  "One group could stop Rogue and the other could free the people."

"I could make a team of one to find the prisoners." Said Pietro who was dressed in silver and wielded a long stick with a trident-like blade at the end.

"Yeah but what are you going to do once you find them?" Bobby said, crossing his arms.  He was wearing gold and held a large, heavy axe.  "You need someone to bust down the doors and stuff!"

"And what are YOU going to do?" asked St. John who was wearing orange and pushed his two daggers into their sheaths just because he could.

"For your information, I used to be a weightlifter." Said Bobby as if he were offended.  "So someone of my strength should have no trouble busting down doors!"

"But that was YEARS ago." Said St. John.  "Back BEFORE the accident."

"I can do it, if I believe!" said Bobby as he flexed his muscles tightly so that his shirt completely ripped off.

"Well, you'll need someone with knowledge of computers." Said St. John.  "I used to be top computer engineer for the President of the United States!" 

"We'll take one more." Said Pietro.  "Preferably someone with excellent stealth."

"Well." Said Kurt.  "I WAS an international spy for twelve years…"

"You're in!" said Pietro.  Then he turned to his team which consisted of himself, St. John, Bobby and Kurt and nodded.  "We're going in.  The rest of you wait here for the signal."

"What's the signal?" asked Scott.

"I'll send up flare!" said St. John excitedly.  "I'll make it something creative so you know it's us and there's no way anyone can trick you!"

"All right!" said Lance as he handed Kurt a metal device.  "My people don't speak the King's English so you'll need this to communicate with them.  It's a recording of my own voice telling them that their king has come to rescue them." 

"We shouldn't be too long." Said Bobby as the four of them ran off.

"Good luck, mon ami…" said Remy as he waved them off.

Meanwhile, in Lord Rogue's castle, she was very much aware of the intruders.

"IMPOSSIBLE!" she bellowed angrily as she viewed the surveillance cameras.  "They've managed to not only get past all of my security but also survive my super motorcycle mayhem team!"

"That's because they went in through the back way." Said a minion who was chained up and forced to work for Rogue.  "If they had gone through the planned entrance, they would SURELY be dead!"

"Well send out my SPECIAL squad and make sure they don't go any further!" yelled Rogue as she whipped the terrible minion that had dared to speak.

Pietro, St. John, Bobby and Kurt were walking, braving Lord Rogue's horrible lair when suddenly, a group of what looked like men dressed entirely in gray fell from the sky and started attacking them.

Fortunately, the four of them were quite skilled in many forms of martial arts so they were able to fend off the attackers who were making incessant babbling noises.

"There's too many of them!" Pietro said as he flipped up and kicked three in a row.  "We'll never defeat them all!"

"St. John!" Bobby yelled as he picked up five gray men and heaved them into a rock causing them to explode into sparks upon impact.  "The signal!"

"Yes, of course!" Said St. John in a flustered voice as he looked around.  He paused for a moment.  "I KNOW I saw one of you with a flamethrower earlier!"

Everyone took a moment to look around and shake their heads.  "Must have been one of the other guys." Suggested Kurt.

"Great…" said St. John.  "Sorry guys!  No flare!"

Suddenly, from the skies, Lord Rogue descended upon them all.  She was holding a large stick with a moon at the end of it.

"MAGIC WAND!!" she yelled as she threw the wand down to the ground.  "MAKE ME GROW TO INTENSE SIZE!!"

The ground began rumbling and almost out of nowhere, Lord Rogue growing until she was the size of a four-story building!

"Uh-oh, guys." Said Bobby.  "I don't know what to do now."  
  
________________________________________________________________________

"What ARE they going to do, Charles?" asked Beast who, by now, was at the edge of his seat with anticipation.

"You know, Hank…" started Professor Xavier.  "I didn't know at first, but now I have a pretty good idea!"

"WHAT?!" demanded Beast.

"Do you want me to tell you and spoil the surprise or would you rather read and find out?" 

"I want to find out on my own but is this going to be a new genre because we're not being very consistent."

"I know." Said Professor Xavier.  "By now it's unavoidable but yes… it IS going to be a new genre."

"What genre is that?" asked Beast.

"I believe this would go into the 'parody' genre." Said Professor Xavier.

"Oh this should be good!"

**Oh GUESS WHAT!!  We have been getting a bunch of reviews for 'Red and Silver' and it is been doing better than we thought.  One person has realized that this is a double story.  Two people have reviewed us very nicely asking for us to update and so forth.  And one person was just CRAZY and knew about our evil plots the entire time but reviewed our story anyway.  I haven't read the story without Beast and Professor Xavier yet but I guess it gives the story a whole different feel when those two aren't randomly inserted in the middle to discuss where the story will go next.  I just can't wait until these poor people are bombarded with the SciFi chapter.**


	13. Parody

Parody

**…I think Rogue was sufficiently punished.  This chapter is INSANE.  The Australopithecus is NOT a dinosaur…but whatever.**

"Uh-oh, guys." Said Bobby.  "I don't know what to do now."

"What we should have done a LONG time ago!" Pietro announced as he reached into his pocket and pulled, what looked like, his wallet.  "IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!!"

"MASTADON!!" yelled Pietro.

"PTERODACTYL!" St. John yelled.

"TRICERITOPS!" Bobby cried.

"SABER-TOOTHED TIGER!" Kurt announced.

Upon bellowing their individual dinosaurs, the four named dinosaurs decended from the heavens, made entirely out of Adamantium.  Pietro, St. John, Bobby and Kurt bent their knees and gave a mighty leap into the air, landing in their respected robot.

"All right, guys!" Pietro said as he waved his arms around so fast that whipping noises were heard.  "Let's trash this slimeball!"

"She doesn't look very slimy to me!" St. John said with many nods of the head.

"Like totally!" Bobby said as if that made any sense.

"Killer ride man!" Kurt said, sliding into place.

Meanwhile, with the other group of four, Scott, Lance, Kitty and Remy…

"I didn't travel halfway across the universe to stand idly by while my people are being held as slaves!" Lance grunted as he paced back and forth.

"Calm down, your majesty!" said Kitty as she comforted Lance.  "It'll be all right!  With Angelina's powers smiling upon us, we're SURE to end triumphantly!"

"I know, Kitty…" said Lance as he put his hand on her shoulder.  "I just feel as though I should be doing something.  Angelina sacrificed herself for my people and I'm just standing here!"

"Why don't we go and help?" suggested Gambit.  "We got all 'dis new stuff."

"You've convinced me!" Lance cheered.  But then he stopped and looked at Scott who was scowling angrily.  "If that's…all right with you…"

Scott looked as though he was trying to bend over because of peer pressure but eventually looked up, smiling and said;

"IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!!"

"TYRANNOSAURUS!!" bellowed Lance.

"STEGOSAURUS!" Remy screamed.

"ANKYLOSAURUS!!" Kitty screeched.  (Whoa…getting a little carried away with these different 'yelling' verbs.)

"AUSTRALOPITHECUS!!" Scott roared.  As they said these names, the four metal zords descended to the world below and were boarded by the four of them.

"Now let's go save our friends!" Kitty said.

"And my people!" Lance added.

Meanwhile…

"She's too powerful!!" Pietro yelled as Lord Rogue dodged his barrage of attacks and retaliated with a swipe of her mighty tail. 

  
________________________________________________________________________

"A giant Rogue overlord with a tail?" asked Beast with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes." Said Professor Xavier, not even looking up.

"That image will haunt me forever." 

"Be silent."

  
________________________________________________________________________

"I'll get her from the air!" St. John called as he swooped in, only to be batted aside and away into the distance.

"We need to form the megazord!" Bobby said over his intercom.

"We can't without the other four!" Kurt whined as he writhed in pain.

"Somebody call for us!" came four voices from over a hill as four figures came into view.  

"I KNEW you'd make it!" Kurt cheered.

"When we didn't see your flare, we got worried!" Lance explained.

"Well, that would be idiot over there assuming we'd have a fire source readily available!" said Pietro with a nod of his head.

"Hey!" St. John said.  "I knew ONE of you had a flamethrower!"

"That would be me…" said Kitty guiltily.

"AHEM!!" said Lord Rogue impatiently as she tapped her massive foot.

"We have to form the Megazord!" Scott declared from inside his giant metal Australopithecus.  Dramatic music started playing as all the Zords folded up and connected to each other at various points forming the different parts of the body.  Everyone miraculously appeared in the very same room where all the controls were.

"Let's beat this slimeball!" said Pietro.

"YEAH!!" cheered everyone, including Pietro.

Lightning crashed and the Megazord reached its mighty hand out as the Super Sword descended from the heavens.  The Megazord grabbed the sword and started swinging it around crazily until finally striking a pose.

"Ha ha!" laughed Lord Rogue even though she moved her mouth three times.  "You think you can defeat me?!  Well think again!"  She then stuck her hand out and a Super Evil Sword descended from the heavens and then SHE swung it around crazily and struck a pose.

"This is going to be a tough battle!" said Remy dramatically.

"Give us strength, Angelina!" St. John said.

"GO GO POWER RANGERS!!!" came a few booming voices as the Megazord and Lord Rogue engaged in mortal combat.  Oddly enough, whenever they struck each other with their swords, sparks flew out of their bodies.

Lord Rogue shoved the Megazord to the ground.

"We're finished, guys!" said Lance.  "Thanks for trying to save my people!"

"I will now dispose of you!" declared Lord Rogue.

"OH NO!!" yelled the Power Rangers as they braced themselves from Lord Rogue's wrath just as they heard a trumpet playing off in the distance.

"What's that?" Kitty said.

"HUH?!" said Lord Rogue way too enthusiastically as she became temporarily distracted from the task at hand.

Just then, from out of the ocean they were next to, emerged a giant metal Brontosaurus roaring.  A figure dressed in purple leapt into the dinosaur and took the controls.

"Don't worry, Power Rangers!" said the mysterious purple man.  "I'm here to help you!"

"YAY!!!" cheered the Power Rangers as they got the strength to kick Lord Rogue out of the way.

Then the Brontosaurus and the Megazord joined forces and struck a pose.

"Hurry!" said The Mysterious Purple Man.  "Deliver the final blow!"

"OKAY!!" said Kurt as he pressed the Final Blow Button.

It's not like the Megazord shot off any sort of projectile.

"AH!!" yelled Lord Rogue as sparks flew everywhere and she leapt behind a building, exploding.

"ALL RIGHT!!" said all the Power Rangers.

Later, after all the Zords had left and everyone had transformed out of their Power Ranger selves, they confronted the Mysterious Purple Man who was still dressed as a Power Ranger.

"Who are you, stranger?" Bobby asked.

"You all know me." Said the Mysterious Purple Man as he grabbed his mask and pulled it off in cheap slow motion.

"GASP!!" yelled everyone.

"Yes…it is I, Roberto." Said the Mysterious Purple Man AKA Roberto AKA SUNSPOT!!!

Everyone paused.

"Roberto?" said Kitty.  "Why are you here?  I was expecting someone like… Evan or something…"

"Well I'm here." Roberto answered with a scoff.  Then he knelt down on one knee in front of Lance.  "I'm here to serve you, your majesty.  Because, you see, I am one of your subjects as well."

"YOU can shake the world too?" Lance asked.

"No." said Roberto, turning his head away as if not being able to shake the world made him less important.  Which it did.  " I am one of the less bitter ones who cannot.  Although I cannot shake the world, I still remain loyal to you!"  
________________________________________________________________________

"Charles." Said Beast.  "I must intervene.  This is getting far too odd.  Please stop."

"What do you mean?" asked Professor Xavier sadly.

"No matter how much you want it, your X-Men are not Power Rangers." Beast explained gently.  "Lance is not the king of a far off planet and Roberto is WAY too obscure."

"But…" started Professor Xavier.  "You've objected to all my other characters like Kastarry and Cornelius!  Just let Roberto stay!  He's not an original character!"

"But he practically is!" said Beast.  "All he has is the name!"

"So?" said Professor Xavier bitterly.

"Just…oh fine…" Beast said, rolling his eyes.  "Roberto can stay.  But they can't be Power Rangers anymore."

"Why not?" Professor Xavier said, crossing his arms.

"Because it's just demented." Beast said.  "Isn't it enough that they're super heroes as the X-Men?"

Professor Xavier sighed.

Beast sighed as well.

"Well…" Beast said.  "We have been writing this for…what?  A few hours now?  To be frank, my ass hurts.  I have to go to the bathroom, I'm hungry and I want to see the world!"

"Let's go see a movie!" said Professor Xavier.

"A LONG movie!" Beast added.

"A BUNCH of long movies!"

"Then let's go out to eat!"

"And go to the mall!"

"And then we can go on a road trip!"

"And then we could come home and continue our story."

"Good idea!" said Beast.

"But in the meantime, let's just leave it up on the computer." Professor Xavier said, wheeling away from the computer.  "It's not like anyone's going to come in and read it."

"ROAD TRIP!!" Beast cheered as the two of them left the room.

Moments later, Kitty phased through the wall.

"PROFESSOR!!" she called.  "Hannukah ended a week ago!  Where are you, Professor?  Where is everyone?"

Then she wandered over to the computer.

"Hello, what's this?" she said, looking at the screen.  "A fanfiction!"

**If you think that Professor Xavier and Beast are not ones to randomly declare a road trip and then actually go on one then you have obviously not seen enough episodes of X-Men Evolution because they definitely ARE.  I mean, how else were we supposed to get them out of the house for a long enough period of time?  Ah!  I've said too much already!**


	14. And the plot THICKENS!

**AWK!!  I hope you didn't think it was OVER?!  Don't be silly!  We have a tendency of not ending stories when they should end and if you have read any of our prior works, you would know this from past experiences!**

Kitty scrolled up to the top of the page and started reading.  After reading about a page about Jean and Pietro's lives being empty, she slowly backed away from the computer.

"Whoa…" she said.  "This can't be what I think it is…" She turned around and walked out of the room.  After standing outside the doorway for a minute or two, her curiosity got the best of her and she forced herself back into the room and pulled a chair up.

She read the story intently, not knowing whether to laugh or cry.  The fact that Jean and Pietro were married just seemed a bit odd for her taste.  Then, when they even had a kid and discovered that it wasn't Pietro's…But REMY'S!!

Speak of the devil, Remy and the other Acolytes minus Sabretooth who unfortunately died, ran in.

"Ha!" laughed St. John.  Of course, he continued his diabolical laughter but I don't want to reiterate myself by writing out every single ha that he said.

"Be quiet!" Remy hushed him.  "Now that the institute is empty, we can finally come in and do what it is we have to do!"

The three stood there in silence.

"Colossus, you stand guard at the door." Remy instructed.  "We'll search the institute."

Colossus nodded and ran back to the front door.  At that exact moment, St. John and Remy turned around and saw Kitty staring at them with a shocked expression.

"There's someone in here!" St. John gasped.

"Remy sees that." Said Remy, sounding annoyed.

"SHH!!" St. John said.  "She'll hear us!!"

"Be quiet!" Remy said.

"We have to burn her so she doesn't kill us!!" St. John said, jumping up and down.

"She can't kill us." Remy said.  "All she can do is walk through walls."

"Can we burn her anyway?!"

"Oh fine…"

"Oh…can _I _do it?!" St. John asked eagerly.

"No, I think Remy's gonna do it this time." Remy replied just to confuse and infuriate St. John.

"But…but…" St. John said, extremely confused and slightly infuriated.

"Guys, hang on." Said Kitty suddenly.  "Could we get a rain check on burning me?  I just want you to see something first."  She pointed at Remy.  "It's mostly for you."

"Why can't I see it too?" St. John said, sounding offended.

"Sure!" said Kitty with a sigh.  "Whatever!"  Remy and St. John walked over to the computer and looked over each of Kitty's shoulders.

After a few moments of reading, St. John suddenly burst into a fit of hysterical hyena-ish laughter.  "You're paired up with Pietro!!" he laughed.  "How did you two possibly create a child?!"

"Apparently, he created one with Jean." Kitty explained.

"Remy don't think this is very funny." Remy said, sounding annoyed. "Remy oughta do you in for this."

"I didn't write it!" Kitty said defensively.  "Why would I pair myself up with HIM if I wrote it?!"

"What?!" St. John said enthusiastically as he scrolled down the story to find his name.  "Whoa…we have a kid…"

"I haven't gotten THAT far yet!" Kitty said as she leaned over St. John's shoulder.  "ARGH!!  We do!"

"Cornelius?" St. John pondered.  Then he turned and looked at Kitty with a raised eyebrow.  "Cornelius?"

"I didn't write it!!" Kitty insisted.

The three of them continued reading the story out loud all the way through.  When they were finally finished, all three of them were surprisingly silent.

After a few minutes of just standing there in awe, Remy made the first move.

"Remy just wanna make a few t'ings clear…" he said as he held his hand up as if to count on his fingers.  "First of all…Remy would never have a kid with Jean.  Second, Remy would NEVER…EVER marry Pietro.  Third of all…" Remy paused to think for a second then he threw his hands up into the air.  "Third of all, Remy is appalled dat he was even IN dis story!"

"You think YOU had it bad?" said Kitty as she began scrolling the fanfiction again.  "I married St. John, had a kid named Cornelius, savagely sucked the blood of an innocent family…"

"Calm down guys." Said St. John.  "We all know that we were horribly misrepresented in this crude piece of literature but that gives us no right to unfairly put it down without hearing the author's case or knowing the inspiration."

"And what does dat mean in Pyro Language?" asked Remy.

"We need to fight fire with fire!" St. John said as he sat down in a wheely chair and wheeled right up to the computer.

"You not going to ADD to it are you?" Kitty asked, utterly stupefied.

"As a matter of fact, I am!" St. John said as he cracked his knuckles.

"That can't possibly be a good idea." Said Kitty as she pushed St. John off the seat and sat down.  "I'LL do it!"

"I'm perfectly capable…" St. John whined.

"You're not capable of doing anything…" said Kitty as if that wasn't a really mean thing to say.  "Except burning stuff."

"Actually, Remy has his lighter." Said Remy, leaning over Kitty's shoulder to see what she was writing.

"So I was thinking of just righting all the wrongs that this story had." Said Kitty.  "No need to ADD to it." 

She paused, staring at the screen.

"Actually, I'm just going to add to it." Kitty decided.  "Make it a little better for myself.  Maybe whoever wrote it will come back and like the addition I made to it and then decide not to make us look so stupid…"

"We still think that YOU wrote it!!" said St. John.

"Whatever!" said Kitty, sounding irritated.

"Remy think you done enough writing already." Said Remy, pushing Kitty's chair out of the way and then pulling up a new one.

"What?!" Kitty said, leaping up.  "YOU'RE going to type?!"

"But I said it first!" whined St. John.

"I'll go first or I'll just blow the computer up and then NONE of us will get a turn." Remy threatened, turning to the computer.  "Remy's first action will be to bring Chere into the story."

"Chere?" said St. John and Kitty at the same time.

"'Rogue'." Remy explained.

"Ooohh…" said Kitty and St. John.

"But she was already in the story!" Kitty pointed out.  "And we turned into Power Rangers and killed her!"

"That was a different Rogue." Remy said.

"Obviously!" said St. John, throwing his hands up in the air.

**We've gotten a few comments/questions about our little experiment with 'Red and Silver'.  **

**1) ****We are NOT submitting Red and Silver to see how well we do in the romance section.  We are only doing so to see if people would think it's funny like you guys do.**

**2) ****If you know our secret, evil, FIENDISH plan, don't review saying 'Hehehe!  It's so awesome how you guys submitted this story without Beast and Professor Xavier's comments just to fool people!' because then that just ruins it all…you can hint that we're evil with clever wording if you MUST.  But don't completely give away our plan!**

**3) ****All right…should we submit the humorous parts of the story into 'Red and Silver'?  Or should we end it here?**


	15. Remy, Kitty and St John

Modifications by Remy, Kitty and St. John

**YAY!!  The X-Men and crew FINALLY discover the evil fanfiction!  Remy, Kitty and St. John will put in their opinions on where the story should go from here.  Oh Deary me!  That spells disaster!!**

All of a sudden, Roberto pulled off his mask to reveal that he was actually Chere in disguise.

"Chere!" Remy called.

"Remy!" Rogue yelled back as they ran over to each other but Chere stopped suddenly.  "I can't hug you, Remy!  Remember my mutant power?"

"More like a mutant CURSE!" Remy replied.

Chere burst into tears.  "But I love you so much!!" she cried.

"Well, Remy got a surprise." Remy said coolly.  "You see, while Remy was away at school, he learned his powers back.  But he also learned how to be immune to YOURS!"

"You mean…I can touch you?" Rogue said.

"And a whole lot more, Chere." Remy answered.  
________________________________________________________________________

"I'm sorry." Said Kitty.  "I have a few comments to make.  First of all, Rogue is definitely NOT like that at all!  Second of all, where did the rest of us go?!  Third of all…you're not randomly inserting NEARLY enough French into this story!"

"Well, Remy not had the right opportunity to randomly insert French yet." Remy replied.  "You all are standing idly by.  And Chere can be like that if Remy wants cause this is HIS story."

"I never knew you harbored a secret love for one of the X-Men!" said St. John.  "All those times we just walked and talked instead of lifting boxes in a random room with Piotr, we talked about SO many things but you never once brought up the fact that you were secretly in love…"

"Well it true." Remy said, bowing his head in shame.

"That's so CUTE!!" said St. John, grabbing Remy's head and noogying him.  Remy immediately threw an explosive playing card at him but St. John dodged just in the nick of time!

"Yeah, Remy been t'inkin' a lot of Chere lately." Remy replied.  "So he t'inks maybe it love.  But it awkward, you know?  We gotta kill each other so he thinks that maybe if she read 'dis, she might…you know…get an idea."

"I could tell her!" said Kitty.

"No…Remy gonna blame this chapter on the writer." Remy said.  "And hope she gets the message."

"You never struck me as the shy type!" said St. John thoughtfully.

"But anyway…" Remy said, turning back to the computer.

"No…" said St. John.  "I don't wanna sit here behind you watching you write a story about you and Rogue getting it on!  It's MY turn to write!"

"Yeah right!" said Kitty.  "It's DEFINITELY my turn!"

"You're both wrong." Said Remy.  "It Remy's turn."

"You already wrote some!" Kitty said.  "It's my turn!"  She phased through Remy and sat down in the chair.  Remy sat there for a moment before deciding that this was an uncomfortable thing for him.

"You just invadin' Remy's personal space." He said, getting up.

"All right!" Kitty said excitedly.  "My turn!"

"All right, let's go." Remy said to St. John.

"I want a turn!" said St. John who was spinning around on a spinny chair.

"You not gonna get a turn." Said Remy.

"I want a turn!" St. John said as if he were a child.

"Oh fine…" said Remy, noticing that Kitty had already started typing.  He decided to just leave for a minute.  
________________________________________________________________________

"Oh I LOVE you Remy!" said Rogue as she went to hug Remy.

"Well, Rogue, you aren't my Chere." Said Remy, pushing Rogue away.  "I've just realized how much I actually love…Kitty."

Remy then turned to Kitty who was standing by herself looking more beautiful than ever.  He opened his arms to accept his love.

"You are my new Chere." He whispered in her ear.  "Je t'aime."

"Not so fast!" came a voice from behind Remy and Kitty.  They both turned around to see Lance standing there angrily.  Lance had always wanted the wonderful Kitty's love but he could never accept that he would never get it.  "I'm willing to fight you to the death for Kitty's love!"

"It's worth it, mon ami!" Remy stated.

"Well…" started Scott.  "As long as we're fighting for Kitty's love, I might as well join."

"Me too!" said Pietro.

"We ALL love Kitty!" said all of the other males.

"You can't ALL have me…" said Kitty innocently.

"That's why we must FIGHT!" said Bobby.

"Don't even bother, my mere love for Kitty shall give me extra strength to defeat you all!" Kurt declared.

"I LOVE Kitty!" said St. John.  
________________________________________________________________________

"HEY!!" said St. John.  "That's not true!!  I thought we had telepathically come to a mutual agreement that since we were married earlier on that we would just remain friends in the future!!"

"You love me…as a friend." Kitty explained as Remy came strolling back in with a muffin.

"Remy just helped himself." Remy said, sitting in the empty chair next to Kitty.  He quickly read what Kitty had just written.  "There's so many things wrong with everything Remy said!  For one, Remy talks in third person.  It a distinct trait he has."

"Well…I didn't feel like doing that." Kitty said.

"Second, Remy love CHERE, not you." Remy continued.

"I'm your NEW Chere!" Kitty replied.

"No you're not." Remy said plainly.

"In the STORY I mean." Kitty explained.

"And finally, Remy would never call someone 'mon ami' if he was about to fight them to the death!" Remy finished.

"Why, what does 'mon ami' mean?" Kitty asked.  Remy slapped his forehead.

"It means 'my friend'." Remy answered.

"Oh…well…okay…" said Kitty.

"Move over." Said Remy, putting his muffin down on the table.  "Let Remy take over again."

"Can I have your muffin?" St. John asked.

"No." Remy answered.

"Can I have a turn?" St. John asked.

"No." Remy answered.  
________________________________________________________________________

"Actually, Chere, you really are Remy's Chere." Said Remy, turning back to Rogue who was in tears.

"Oh good!" said Chere.

"You know Remy would never leave you!" Remy said.  "Remy was just kidding."

Kitty and her twelve boyfriends left.

"Now what?" Chere asked.

"Let's make out since we couldn't before." Remy replied.  
________________________________________________________________________

"Hey!" said St. John as he extinguished a flame that he had been playing with ever so contently.  "Isn't this why I stopped you before?!"

"Yes." Remy answered.

"Oh okay then." Said St. John as he lit his lighter again.

Remy took a look at the lighter and then felt in his pocket to find it missing.  "How you get that?" he asked.

"I stole it." St. John answered as if it was nothing.  "I stole your muffin too."

"That's it." Said Remy, standing up.  "Stealing one t'ing from a masta' t'ief is one thing but stealin' TWO t'ings?  That's just going too far."

"I like my muffins…HOT!!!" St. John yelled, torching the muffin until it was nothing but a pile of ashes.

"I hope you're going to clean that up!" Kitty gasped.

"Hey…" said St. John, looking at his lighter.  "I have my lighter!  I want a turn RIGHT NOW!!"  He then made a huge fire explode behind him so it was extremely frightening and dramatic.  Not to mention very WARM as well but that was the last of their thoughts.

Kitty and Remy, not making any sudden motions, slowly stood up and backed away from the computer.  St. John skipped merrily over to the seat and pulled himself up nice and close.

"All right!" he said, rubbing his hands together enthusiastically.  "Since the only two people who are currently present are Remy and Rogue, I'm going to make it from Remy's point of view since I don't really know Rogue very well."

"First person?" asked Remy.

"Sort of…but not really.  I know it's an odd switch." Said St. John.  "But…I think it would make things more insightful…and deep…and meaningful!"

"Insightful?" said Remy with a raised eyebrow.

"Deep?" Kitty added.

"Meaningful?" St. John finished.  "Wait…hey!!  You confused me!  You two be quiet while I type and don't interrupt me like I so rudely did to both of you on numerous occasions!"  Then he slammed his lighter down on the table reasonably far away from himself.  "I think I'll put it in italics too!  That always looks cool!"  
________________________________________________________________________

_Rejection…_

_That is the fear that always burned deep inside Remy LeBeau.  The fear he never allowed to furnace too brightly.  He kept that particular flame on low hidden behind the mask of a confident lady-killer._

_He had no less than seconds ago turned down the girl of his dreams.  The girl who never revealed her name to anyone, not even Remy.  That had always stung Remy.  She was unable to trust him enough with something so simple as her name.  Perhaps the supposed eternal flame burning between them was nothing more than a spark.  A short flicker of hope that soon fades and is soon forgotten._

_Remy backed away from the gothic princess slowly.  She looked beautiful, her purple lipstick slightly faded from the course of the day and her hair hung down gently and framed her face.  Remy knew he could not have her.  No one could.  She was an untouchable flame, beautiful to the eye but painful to the touch.  She deserved better than the notorious Prince of Thieves.  _

_Remy felt a singular warm tear form in his fiery red eyes.  It slid down his cheek slowly and stopped at the end of his face, dangling carelessly off the end of his chin.  It suddenly broke free and plummeted down to Rogue's hands which were resting on Remy's shoulders._

_"Remy's sorry, Chere…" Remy choked out as he wiped the moisture from his face.  "He don't deserve you…"_

_Upon uttering those words, Remy pushed Rogue aside gently and ran past her.  To ensure Remy that Rogue was not following him, he touched a nearby tree, causing it to emit a flickering glow like that of a candle.  The life of the tree was cut short when it suddenly exploded, sending flaming branches everywhere._

_"Remy!" Remy heard Rogue's voice from behind him.  "I still…"_

_Her words were cut short.  Remy looked behind him to see what the problem was to see his horror among horrors.  Rogue was lying down on the ground, crushed by a flaming log._

_"Chere!" Remy called as he ran to her side.  Rogue looked up and smiled at Remy.  "Chere, don't die!"_

_"Ah can't decide when to die, Remy…it's mah time." She closed her eyes and turned her head slowly to the side.  Her chest rose and fell slightly with every breath she took but it soon slowed down until it stopped completely.  Rogue had breathed her last breath and now her flame of life was extinguished._

_The tears flowed down Remy's cheeks freely and he did not bother to hide them nor wipe them away.  The perfection in his life was gone and now he had nothing.  Life was not worth living anymore.  Remy pulled from his pocket a blade wrapped in cloth.  He ran his finger along the blade to see if it was sharp.  A clean stripe of blood appearing on the appendage told him that it was._

_"Au revoir monde cruel." Remy whispered as he planted a short kiss on Rogue's lifeless cheek.  He then raised the dagger into the air, level with his heart._

_  
_________________________________________________________________________

"First you kill Remy's Chere…" said Remy as he slammed his hand down on St. John's wildly typing fingers.  "But Remy can't sit and watch you kill him too."

"You ruined the mood!" St. John whined.  "Now I'm out of the ZONE!  I couldn't continue if I WANTED to!"

"Maybe dat's a good thing." Said Remy.  "For Remy's sake."

Suddenly Piotr came running into the room.

"There be being Pietro outside!" he said frantically to his two teammates.   "Hurry!  We be having to go!"

"Dang…" said Remy.  

"We didn't even do whatever we came here to do!" St. John said, his eyes getting large.  Piotr turned into his metal man form and grabbed Remy in one arm and St. John in the other.  He then kicked the window open and jumped out.  He didn't get hurt because he's made out of metal.

Kitty sat there by herself staring at the computer screen.  She had been expecting St. John to write something along the lines of 'And then St. John came and burned everyone!  YAY!!  The end!' but was utterly surprised to see something right out of some crazy gothic romance novel!!  She grabbed the mouse and dragged the cursor up to the top of the screen and clicked on the 'save' button.  

"Hopefully, we did more help than hurt." She said as she phased through the wall.

Suddenly, Pietro ran into the room.  "Guys!" he yelled.  "I'm going to tell my father that you tied me up, gagged me, locked me in the closet and went on this mission without me!  Guys?"

He looked around the room but didn't his teammates.  "I thought I heard them up here…"

He spotted the computer sitting on the desk, aglow.  "Heh heh…looks as though the Professor left a top secret document open!"

He scrolled up to the top of the document and began reading it, hoping to learn something promising.  After reading for about a second, he pulled back, absolutely horrified.  "Oh!  My!  GOD!!" he yelled.  "This is a FANFICTION about ME… loving JEAN!!"


	16. Pietro, Lance and Kurt

Modifications by Lance, Kurt and Pietro

**We had silly fun with this chapter!  Even though hardly any of it is actually the actual writing of the fanfiction, the commentary is as fun as ever!  So…read on and enjoy yourself because we swear, on our father's honor, that the end is coming REALLY soon!**

He ran out of the room as quickly as possible which was REALLY REALLY quickly.  Then he stopped in the doorway and looked back at the computer.  "A fanfiction about ME, eh?"

He then walked over to the computer and sat down again.  "Can't be TOO bad if I'M in it.  Maybe Jean'll die or something."

Because everything about Pietro is super fast, he was able to read the entire story in about a minute.

"That was an utterly appalling story!" he announced to the world.  "I have become dumber just because I have read it!"

He suddenly heard a voice coming from the window.  He walked over to it to see Lance at the bottom.

"Well well!" Pietro said with a smirk.

"Pietro, what are you doing in there, you traitor!" Lance demanded.

"That's none of YOUR business, Alvers!" Pietro teased.  Then he paused.  "You REALLY need to see this."

"See what?" asked Lance.

"It looks like the Professor or someone has written an X-Men Evolution fanfiction and YOU'RE in it!" Pietro said, laughing.

"WHAT?!" Lance yelled.  "Is it another one where I'm in love with Kitty or one where I rejoin the X-Men?"

"Even better!" Pietro giggled.  "You're in love with SUMMERS!"

"I'll be right up!" Lance said as he began to scale the side of the building.  It was easy because someone had put a ladder there when no one was looking so Lance didn't have a very hard time simply climbing up a ladder.

"By the way, Lance…" started Pietro as Lance entered through the window and immediately sat down at the computer.  "What were you doing here?"

"That's none of your business, Pietro." Said Lance.  "And the reason I didn't go through the door is because the quickest route between two points is a straight line."

"I didn't ask why you didn't go through the door!  I would have gone up the ladder too!" Pietro said, annoyed.  "Besides, who are YOU to tell ME what the QUICKEST way to something is?"

"Now about this fanfiction…" said Lance as he pressed Ctrl+F and typed his name into a search.  "When do I come up?"

After finding himself and reading every little aspect including him and Scott and other irritating things, Lance decided that this entire fanfiction offended him so.

"I need to fix this." Said Lance as he put his hands on the homekeys.  "I'm going to add to it and make me look better."

"There's no way you'll be able to work off of the ending that's currently there, slow-mo." Said Pietro, rolling his eyes.

"I could have myself standing behind Remy as he stabs himself or something." Said Lance.  "And then, as he is maiming himself with a knife, I'll go and do a few things to make up for all of the terrible things I've gone through in this story.  And my first action will be to kill Scott!  Just to prove that I don't love him and that I was just under a spell."

"Well, after you finish yours, I'm going to add my piece." Said Pietro.  "I deserve to more than you because my character was destroyed more than yours was."

"Fine, whatever." Said Lance as he began a-typin'.  
  
________________________________________________________________________

And then Remy killed himself.  

Meanwhile, Lance was defeating all the other males especially Scott who was killed right away in the battle for Kitty's love.  It wasn't hard for someone who could shake the world as wonderfully as he could.  No one else could shake the world contrary to popular belief.  There was definitely NOT an entire planet of people who could shake the world.  Lance was one of a kind.  Though, Lance WAS the king of that planet.

Lance didn't even have to beat all the males before Kitty had made her decision. 

"I love YOU, Lance!" she said as she hugged him.  "I'm sorry I was pretending not to love you before!"  
  
________________________________________________________________________

"I thought you said that you were going to kill off Scott first." Said Pietro.  "But instead, you killed off Remy and then started fondling Kitty."

"I wasn't FONDLING her!" Lance said defensively.

"Sure you weren't." said Pietro.

"Like YOU could do any better!" said Lance.

"Actually…YEAH!" said Pietro.  "I could!  Move over, slow mo.  And I have to say that you are an INCREDIBLY slow typist!"

"What and you're any faster?!" demanded Lance but then he stopped and worked his brain cells.  "Never mind…"

"Yeah, that's right." Said Pietro, shoving Lance off the wheely chair faster than the speed of light.  "Watch a master work."  
  
________________________________________________________________________

But it turned out Pietro wasn't dead.  But he wasn't fighting for Kitty's love.  He never was.  He didn't even like her.  That's why he decided to dispose of Lance and Kitty right then.  And anyone else who was still alive.  "Well there's no point of staying here!" said Pietro.  Then he left.  He decided to run somewhere.  And he did.  He ran around the world a few times.  He didn't have anything particular to do.  So he decided to find someone to kill.  And Daniels hasn't been in the story yet.  Daniels came out of nowhere.  "I CHALLENGE YOU!!" yelled Daniels.  "Sure, slow-mo." Said Pietro.  Daniels thought he was so cool.  Just because he could attack.  But it's not like it did him any good.  Cause I'm so fast.  Daniels looked around foolishly.  I ran circles around Daniels.  "Stop running away, Pietro!" yelled Daniels.  "Who's running away?" I asked.  "You are!" Daniels yelled.  "I am not!" I said back.  "Yes you are!" said Daniels.  "No I'm not!" I said.  "You definitely are!" Daniels said.  "Can I help it that you're slow?" said Pietro.  "I am not slow!" said Evan.  "You're slower than me!" I said.  "Everyone's slower than you!" said Daniels.  "That's true." Said Pietro.  "So stop running and fight!" said Daniels.  "You're not worth my time." Said Pietro.  "Yeah right, Pietro!" yelled Daniels.  "You bore me, Daniels." Said Pietro.  
  
________________________________________________________________________

"And this story bores me too!!" yelled Pietro, slamming his hands down on the computer and standing up.

"What?!" Lance said, just getting up from when Pietro had pushed him off the chair.  "You already wrote something?!"

"Yeah and I'm SO bored." Pietro said with a yawn.

"Well then let me write some more!" said Lance, pulling his seat closer and scrolling up to see what Pietro had written.  "Pietro…you wrote absolute gibberish."

"What are you talking about?!" Pietro said, looking over Lance's shoulder.  "My writing is excellent!"

"I can't even tell who's saying what!" Lance declared.

"That's because you're a slow-mo." Said Pietro, crossing his arms.

"What does my physical speed have to do with your horrible writing?!" demanded Lance as the institute started shaking slightly.

"Who said I meant physical speed?" Pietro scoffed.  "I meant mental."

"That's it, Pietro!" said Lance, standing up and knocking his chair over.  "I'm gonna shake the world whether you like it or not!"

"Just try and hit me if you can!" said Pietro.

"I said I was gonna shake the world." Said Lance, sounding confused.

"Sorry, I had that comeback all ready and before I realized that you had said something completely out of character, I had already retorted." Pietro explained.

The two stared at each other.

"Well…I'm gonna shake the world now…" said Lance because the awkward silence was bugging him.  So he was JUST about to start shaking the world when they heard a little 'BAMF' sound effect from the other side of the room.  They turned around to see Kurt standing there with all his suitcases and a shirt on that said 'Ich Liebe Deutschland!!'

"What are you two doing here?!" Kurt yelled.

"Well what are YOU doing HERE?!" demanded Lance.

"I LIVE here!" Kurt pointed out.

"Oh right." Said Lance, looking at Pietro who shrugged.

"Well…what are you doing here?" Kurt repeated.

"I followed my fellow henchmen here to do something evil but they all left without me!" Pietro answered.  "And I don't know why Lance is here…"

"I don't either." Said Lance.

"We were just reading this HORRIBLE fanfiction that we found here." Said Pietro, walking over to the computer.

"What is it a fanfiction of?" asked Kurt, slighting intrigued.

"X-Men Evolution." Pietro replied.  "Did you write it?"

"No…" Kurt answered slowly as he approached the computer and scrolled up to the top.  After a moment of reading, he looked up at Pietro.  "This looks like a romance fanfiction between…"

"I KNOW." Said Pietro, rolling his eyes.  "It is SO not true."

"Uh-huh." Said Kurt, going back to reading.

Pretty soon, he just started scrolling down, skipping all the sappy stuff at the beginning until he finally stumbled across his name.  "What?!" he yelled.  "Me and Bobby?!  Who wrote this?!  Why is everyone going after someone else of the same gender?!  Pietro, I thought you were in love with JEAN!  Where did Remy come from?!"

"If you had READ it then you would have seen that Jean died giving birth to the child of Remy whom I thought was my own and then he and I decided to raise her together." Pietro said.

"Oh." Said Kurt.  "That is SO messed up."

"It gets worse." Said Lance.

"I'm married to Bobby?!" yelled Kurt again.

"We added to the story." Said Pietro, who was bored with Kurt reading so he just went all the way to the bottom.  Kurt didn't seem to care at all since he probably wasn't really all that interested in the horrible story anyway.

"Really?" Kurt said.  "Can I add to it?"

"Sure, WE don't care." Said Lance.

All right!" said Kurt, jumping over to the seat.

"Don't forget to put your fingers on the homekeys!" said Lance.  Pietro slapped him five.

"Ha ha." Said Kurt.  "Like I haven't heard that one before."   
  
________________________________________________________________________

…  
  
________________________________________________________________________

"Hang on…" said Kurt, scrolling up a little bit.  "I have no idea what just happened in the story…"

"That's okay." Said Pietro, feeling impatient.  "Just add to it how you would want it.  The story makes no sense anyway."

"Well…all right!" said Kurt excitedly.  "That would be an interesting twist!"   
  
________________________________________________________________________

One day, Kurt was walking along minding his own business when all of a sudden, he was magically cured of his horrible mutant appearance!  YAAAAAAY!!  The world had long since accepted mutants but he was still happy to rid himself of being blue and fuzzy.   
  
________________________________________________________________________

"You type WAY too slow." Said Pietro.

"It's hard to type with just six fingers!" said Kurt.

"Ha!" said Lance.  "I practically have six fingers on one HAND!"

Pietro and Kurt raised an eyebrow at Lance.

"What?" Lance said.  "I have five fingers on one hand and he only has six TOTAL and I just thought…"

"Yeah, we know but that was really stupid." Said Pietro.

They sat there in silence.

"Hey…you guys wanna go on a roadtrip?" asked Kurt.

"Yeah." Said Lance with a shrug.

"Let's go!" said Pietro.  The three of them teleported out of the room.  Well, actually, Kurt teleported out, Pietro ran out at the speed of light and Lance shook the world, stood there for a minute and then climbed down the ladder downstairs to meet the others at the X-Van.

The computer sat by itself in the room, emitting a splendiferous glow.

Just then, all the New Recruits walked by.

"Hey!" said Bobby, stopping at the doorway.  "The professor left his computer on!"

"You shouldn't play with it!" said Amara.

"Yeah, the professor wouldn't be too happy if he found out." Said Sam.

"You can stay here if you want, Bobby." Said Jubilee.

"We're going to go wreak havoc somewhere!" said Ray.

"Can I come too?" asked Jamie.

"No way, you'll just get in the way!" said Roberto.

"Just let him come!" said Rahne.  And then everyone left except for Bobby.  If we missed any of the New Recruits, just assume they said something and left with the rest of the crew.

"All right!" said Bobby, rubbing his hands together and sitting down at the desk.


	17. Bobby, Rogue and The End

The Final Chapter

**Oh sigh and woe.  It's over.  Alas.  Well, for us it's over.  For you, it's over in about five minutes to a half an hour, depending on how fast a reader you are.  Well, I suppose we're now on to bigger and better things!  The toughest part, however, is thinking up a brand new idea AGAIN!  ONWARD HO!!**

**Oh…woe again…someone reported 'Red and Silver' as a copied story and got it kicked off Fanfiction.net…sniffle…**

Bobby excitedly scrolled up to the top and began reading.  After a moment, he shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"Is this…a documentary?" he wondered out loud to himself.  "I never knew…Jean and Pietro…"

Though he wanted desperately wanted to run away screaming, he couldn't help but pursue his curiosity and continue on.  Of course, he was quite appalled when he came to learn of his OWN part in the story as well as his tragic past that was completed when Kurt entered his life.

"This is getting way too weird." Bobby decided.  "It can't be a documentary because not only am I not in love with Kurt but all that stuff never happened to me!"

He could have walked away right then.  But he didn't.  He kept reading.

"Planet Torgo…" Bobby uttered to himself a he spun around in his swively chair and continued reading.  "Interesting…a brotherhood with one of the Acolytes?  Owls?  Hogwarts?"

He pulled himself in closer to the computer.  "Wait…I'm in Ravenclaw?" he said out loud, rubbing his chin.  "I guess THAT'S not so bad…even though I kinda disappeared…I haven't said anything for a while…though, that could possibly be a good thing.  Do I really WANT to be in this fanfiction?"

Of course…Bobby could have walked away then too.  But by now, it was an addiction and he had to continue reading.  Much like you are reading right now.  Read, my pet.  Read.

"Power Rangers!" exclaimed Bobby, throwing his hands up in the air.  "I didn't think it could get any worse!  I watched that when I was seven!"

Upon completion of the story, Bobby found himself somewhat disappointed that it had ended so abruptly with Kurt being cured of his mutant appearance.  "It can't possibly be over now!" he declared, reaching his hands out for the keyboard.   
  
________________________________________________________________________

Then Bobby  
  
________________________________________________________________________

Bobby paused for a moment.  
  
________________________________________________________________________

The extremely attractive and wonderful Robert Drake decided that this was a good time to  
  
________________________________________________________________________

"Good time to do what…?" Bobby wondered to himself.  "What would the extremely attractive and wonderful Robert Drake do?  Let's have him go on an adventure!  A crazy pirate adventure!  Where I'm…I mean…HE'S the hero…"  
  
________________________________________________________________________

The extremely attractive and wonderful Robert Drake decided that this was a good time to go on a long adventure that would include a boatload of pirates.  He, of course, was by far the best of them all and was the captain and  
  
________________________________________________________________________

"Bobby, what are you doing here?" came a voice behind him.

"NOTHING!!" Bobby yelled immediately, spinning around to see Rogue standing in the doorway wearing a 'Deutschland war Mittelmäßig' shirt.  "What are YOU doing here?  I thought you were visiting with Kurt."

"We got back." Rogue answered.  "But Kurt didn't feel like riding the bus anymore so he teleported ahead of me.  Is he here yet?"

"Um…not that I know of." Bobby replied nervously when he noticed that Rogue was approaching him and the computer.

"What are you doing?" she asked, trying to look past him.

"Just…reading something…" Bobby answered innocently.

"Looks like you were writing something." Rogue said, crossing her arms.

"Well…I was ADDING to it!" Bobby confessed.  "But really, I found it here!  I didn't write it!"

"Can I see it?"

"Um…well…I guess so…I can't guarantee that you're going to like it.  In fact, I can guarantee that you WON'T like it."

"Get out of my way." Rogue said with an exasperated sigh as she pushed Bobby out of the way.  "The extremely attractive and wonderful Robert Drake?" she read.

"That's the part I wrote!" Bobby said, sounding kind of embarrassed and reached over Rogue and scrolled up a little bit.

"I never would have guessed." Rogue answered, turning back to the screen.

"I promise I didn't write all this part…" Bobby stuttered as Rogue began reading again.

"I'm an evil overlord?!" Rogue gasped but kept reading because I swear, this story is a DRUG that is EVIL!  "And I have a TAIL?!"

"I told you that you wouldn't like it…" Bobby reminded her.

"Well, I'm gonna go and tell someone about this!" Rogue declared, standing up and going to leave to the room.

"Well, you're in it more!" Bobby said, searching some more for Rogue's OTHER part in the story.

"How?!" Rogue demanded.  "I blew up!  In case you missed that part!"

"For some reason, you're alive again." Bobby said with a shrug.

"I don't want to read it." Rogue said.

"All right…" said Bobby.  "I mean, you probably wouldn't want to read about you and one of the Acolytes having a fling…"

"One of the Acolytes?" Rogue said, stopping and turning around.  "Which one?  Please tell me it's NOT Sabretooth."

"It's not." Bobby assured her.  "It's um…that other one…I don't remember his name…"

"What color hair does he have?" asked Rogue.

"I don't know!" Bobby said.  "It didn't say!  But…oh, you were hit with a flaming log!"

"Oh no!" sighed Rogue.  "A love fling between me and Pyro?"

"No…it wasn't him." Bobby said.  "I know that much.  He's the tall one."

"Colossus?" Rogue said, sounding annoyed and disappointed.

"Wait…is that the metal coated one?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah." Rogue said, rolling her eyes.

"It's not that one." Said Bobby, thinking.  "The one with the…oh…um… he was speaking French…"

"Oh that one." Said Rogue, walking back over to the computer.  "I think maybe I should just at least LOOK at it…since, after all, it IS me in the story and I should just see it anyway since there's no harm in just looking after all…"

"All right." Said Bobby with a shrug.

Rogue sat down and reached for a box of tissues that was sitting by the computer.  "This is really sad!" she said.  "This part in the italics!  It's so depressing!  Poor Remy!"

"Poor YOU, you're the one who died." Said Bobby, confused.

"But he STABBED himself because of me!" said Rogue.  "Bobby, should I talk to him or something?  I feel so bad!"

"Um…sure…" said Bobby awkwardly.

Peeking in the window was Remy and St. John.

"You were right!" said St. John as the two pulled away from the window and jumping down to the ground.  "She took a hint!  From my part, I might add.  'The part with italics!'  You owe me."

"Yeah, yeah." Said Remy.  "The usual?"

"Yeah!" said St. John, bouncing up and down.  "I want it to flick open and make sure it's silver this time!  And if you get another one of those cheap plastic ones then so help me!"

"Hey guys!" called Kitty and Piotr from the X-Mobile.  "Are we going on that road trip or standing around here all day?!"

"Coming!" called Remy and St. John as they jumped into the car and the three of them sped off into the sunset.

Meanwhile, back in the room with the computer, Scott and Jean came walking in.

"Hey!" yelled Scott, pointing dramatically at Bobby and Rogue as they turned around.  "That is the Professor's private computer!"

"It's hooked up to Cerebro!" said Jean.  "If something had happened to it, there's no telling what the Professor would do!"

"We were just looking!" Bobby tried to explain.

"Just get out you two!" said Scott.  "If we catch you in here in again then we're going to tell the Professor!"  Rogue and Bobby scurried away, not wanting to get in trouble with the Professor.

"Nice job, Scott." Said Jean.

"Thanks." Said Scott.

"What do you suppose they were doing?" Jean wondered, looking in the vague direction of the computer.

"I refuse to look!" said Scott defiantly.

"You're right." Said Jean.  "I'll just shut the computer down." She walked over to the computer and dragged the mouse over to the shut down button when suddenly, she looked up.  "The Professor is coming!"

As soon as she said that, Professor Xavier and Beast came tromping through the door.  Well…I guess Beast came tromping through the door and Professor Xavier just kind of WHEELED in a sloppy fashion.

"I can't believe you forgot to pack sandwiches!" Professor Xavier sighed but then he looked up to see Scott and Jean.

"What are you two doing here?!" Beast gasped.  "You didn't…read the computer…did you?!"

"Of course not, Professor!" said Jean.

"You know the punishment for looking at my personal things…Scott, Jean." Said Professor Xavier.  "I'm very ashamed of you two."

"Professor, you know we're telling the truth." Said Scott.

The Professor paused and shook his head with disbelief.  "And YOU know that you can't lie to me." He sighed.  "I'm afraid I'm going to have to punish you both.  Please leave me be."

"We'll give you your punishments later." Said Beast as he comforted Professor Xavier.

"Professor…" started Scott.

"Please, Scott." Said Professor Xavier, putting his hand up.  Jean and Scott looked at each other sadly and then left the room.  Professor Xavier looked up as they closed the door behind him.  "That was close…"

"Did you see how close they came to reading it?" Beast said as he quickly closed out of the file.  "What if they actually had?"

"But they didn't." Professor Xavier said.  "I read their thoughts.  Neither of them even knew about the fanfiction."

"I don't know what we would have done if any of them had read it." Beast said with a heavy sigh.  "We have to delete it."

"All my writing…" said Professor Xavier sadly.

"It was beautiful but…if any of them read it, I'm afraid it would be disastrous." Beast confessed.

"Very well." Said Professor Xavier.  Beast dragged the fanfiction over to the recycling bin and emptied it.

"Well, that's that." Said Beast.

"Yeah." Agreed Professor Xavier.

The two of them mulled there in silence for a few moments.

"How about that road trip?" Beast said suddenly.  "Still up for it?"

"AM I?!" Professor Xavier said as they both took their hats off and threw them up into the air and the screen froze.  Then, unexpectedly enough, a black circle engulfed them.

**_You're gonna make it after all!_**


End file.
